Perfect day

If 2011's lack of posts here has taught me anything about myself, it's that I'm apparently really big on "If you don't have anything funny to say, don't say anything at all", but with school

Community college: ain't no shame in attending one; the shame is for when the college can't spell "invalid" on their fucking official stamp.

and a new job - yippee, hurray!

...that pays 30% less than it should [UN-yippee, UN-hurray]

I had nothing funny left to say. Period.
Which made Saturday's breakfast with Miss M at Sophie's Cosmic Cafe in Kits even more full of win. We hadn't hung out in what felt like forever, found a parking spot right around the corner [savour the little victories] and not only was there no lineup, we had our pick of spots [patio, yay!] My camera battery picked a terrible time to crap out, but their eggs benny is amaaaazingg; there was almost no conversation after our food arrived, just serious eating. And then a trip to a shop devoted entirely to candy and then Zulu records. Much-needed good times.
It's just nice to win one, you know?

Sexual harassment campaign update

Or, The Continuation of Lady Effing Juno and Sir Curtis, Esq.'s IM Correspondence

Curtis: Is that a CASTIEL sugar cookie? I can tell you're counting the days until they film in your neighbourhood again.

Juno: I'm going to try to lure Jensen with a Mars Bar tied to a string, discreetly tossed his way since there's no getting past that bodyguard. THEN hit him with the roofie pie...good plan, yes?

Curtis: wait wat..He can be had for the price of a Mars bar? Hold on, I'm going out to buy one of those 4-packs

Juno: No, you get his attention with the mars bar, then reel him in (hence the string), then flash the boobs like so:
( . Y . ) < - which I haz and you don't so neener

Curtis: LOL...So, you admit you're a boob flasher. Well, acknowledgement IS the first step.

Juno: I don't WANT to unveil Shock and Awe, but I will if I have to.

Curtis: I admit to being a little surprised you didn't choose 'Sam' and 'Dean' for names.

Juno: Already taken. 'Sam' and 'Dean' are the washers in our laundry room when one takes them for a ride on spin cycle. When they start to ka-thunk, ka-thunk around the room on "spin" because of an uneven load, that's what you call a Big Daddy Winchester. Heh.

Curtis: So, we're leg-humping washing machines on 'spin' now?

Juno: Hey, I have needs. Also, I get clean clothes out of the deal, so win/win.

Curtis: You truly are elegance personified.

Juno: Believe it.

aw crap, seriously?

Do not be surprised when you see all the Impala-shaped dildos in your building's recycle bin this morning. Since Jensen Ackles officially went off the market last week, people from Vancouver to…well, other places, have been throwing out fuck toys that now mock us with memories of happier times. Sadness.

You should see the fucking ridiculous shoes I now have to learn to walk in after some badly-needed retail therapy at Fluevog. Seriously, if I hit a bit of gravel, I'm going to spin out and go down in a storm of "fuckit! fuckitfuckitfuckit!"s

Pretending to pinch off the bride's head a la Kids In The Hall ["I am crushing your head!"] helped somewhat (yes, I am twelve).

and a sexual harassment campaign is born

Curtis: Nice pic of the Impala. Mmm...pretty.

Juno: If I could have sex with a car, that would be it.

Curtis: I thought you wanted to be, and I quote, "the stuffing in a Winchester sandwich"?

Juno: Next time they film locally, maybe I should carry a big sign advertising "I DO THE WEIRD STUFF".

Curtis: The crew will love that.

Juno: I'd better specify "WILL BANG SAM & DEAN FOR FOOD"

Curtis: Boooo, says the crew.

Juno: OK, revised signage: "ONE FREE HANDJOB TO 1ST PERSON TO GET ME 20 MINS ALONE WITH SAM & DEAN"
And they get theirs AFTER I get mine. I been burned before.

Curtis: You're such a classy broad.

Juno: I know, right?

has anyone seen a hockey cherry? because I lost mine

It's no secret the Canucks and the NY Islanders are, uh, not the best teams in the NHL, but when Curtis informed me he had a windfall of two free centre ice tickets to the 'nucks vs Isles game on the 16th I jumped at the opportunity. Night out with friends? Check. Free tickets? Check. Seeing a live pro hockey game for the first time eva? Check and check.
It's so different from seeing it on TV, where the camera largely follows the puck; you can see plays developing [and get a contact high off all the testosterone; Luongo, I WILL HAVE YOUR BABIES.]

So even though Curtis and I had never seen a LIVE hockey game before [because pro hockey tickets are also hella expensive] we weren't total noobs. Which didn't stop either of us looking up hockey basics for dummies the night before the game. Oh quit it. It's not like Canadians are born knowing this stuff.

As you can see, the seats were AWESOME.

Goalie Roberto Luongo [newest member of Juno's harem] is on the far right of the sausage party.

SEEING the puck headed towards you at 90mph is not going to make it leave less of a dent.

Zambonis were so much more badass when they were solid black. A zamboni that looks like a giant shopping cart is the anti-badass.

Mmmmm, Mike's Hard Lemonade slushies, coming right up...that IS where they come from, right?

Oh come on, does this much adorableness need a caption?

So, yeah, we ended up getting shellacked by one of the worst teams in the NHL. Which didn't stop me from jumping up and screaming "SUCK IT!!! SUCK IT!!!" at the Islanders whenever we scored on them. And the spirit of Olympic woo is still strong in Vancouver; when time came for the national anthems, I was belting out O Canada, yet couldn't even hear myself for the sold-out crowd doing same. Good times.

Happy birthday, Sarah

for Sarah [left], queen of the girl power mix tape and one of the coolest, smartest, funniest people I know.
I have no words for how awesome this woman is.

[OK, maybe one word: Ayiyiyiyiyiyi!!] Happy birthday, woman! I looked for a picture of a Henry Rollins cake but was unsuccessful. Je suis FAIL.