have yourself a merry fucking Christmas

I love that New West city hall has the glitter balls to flaunt, decade after PC decade, unabashedly Christmas-y adornment inside and outside. Hey, NW leaves "happy holidays" for the shopping mall. That's just the way we roll.

fancypants caramel

I splurged a bit sugar-wise with Purdy's fancy [or silly, I'm not sure which] Himalayan pink salt crystal caramel. The salt crystals on top are supposed to boost the [already] saltysweet caramel experience, and really are pinkish.
Hmm...
[nom nom nom]
Yep, tastes like caramel and salt. Huh.

I got yer "festive" right here

At left: unintentionally horrifying Santa cake via cakewrecks.com
I need a break from the soppy, saccharin holiday specials on TV. Hence some new Japanese horror [I love the sales bin at Applause Videos on Commercial Drive] that I fully expect to freak me right the fuck out.

and the funny just keeps on coming

Watching "Staten Island" on freetube.net, apparently put up by some video store clerks, as every so often the audio on the movie is eclipsed by an angry nutter calling in to a Blockbuster video and wanting to know the employee's name and if they suck dick, before spewing insults at the clerk.
Best exchange so far:
crazy dude [ranting]: "I will track you down, scoop out your eyes and skull fuck you!!"
:::silence from clerk:::
crazy dude [conversational]: "So, how tall are you?"

So he wants to rape your skull, but there's a height requirement.
O-kaaaaay.

random hotness

This picture is best viewed from atop a washing machine on "spin", with clothespins on your nips and being told repeatedly that you're a dirty, DIRTY girl.
Well, maybe that's just me.
Gawd, he's so pretty it hurts. I'm a sucker for the nice crinkly eyes too.


That is all.

look what the mail barfed up

Above: sweet, sweet eBay booty.
Have dug myself out from under a teetering pile of empty toaster waffle boxes for some quick shopping for a Christmas parcel that had to go from Vancouver to the Kelowna branch of the fam [btw, Kelowna has its own lake monster, Ogopogo. I know, AWESOME.] Also cheered up by the arrival of a shitload of semiprecious stone beads ordered back in November. Mostly garnets, but also carnelian, amethyst, coral oh go on and spank me, YES I BOUGHT CORAL BEADS FUCKING HELL, aventurine, iron pyrite & peridot. Pretty. I have lots of ideas for bracelets.

I love the smell of cinnamon in the morning. Smells like "coping".

At left: sweet nectar of the gods and Jared Padalecki's remarkably broad shoulders. Sigh. Cinnamon toaster waffles and whipped cream makes everything better.
-edited to add that a second look at the photo makes it appear I am trying to tempt the little people on the screen with waffles & wipp cremes. I'm not that delusional yet, but there's no denying Sam is eyeing that waffle. Heh.

Officially unemployed for 14 hours now. Have been playing "I Will Survive" on YouTube for 8 of those hours.

Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

I know this clip is on every site on the internet right now, but I had to post it anyway. This is awesome on about ten different levels. I love the web.



Beeker: "Mee mee mee mee!"
chorus: "Galileo!"

This almost makes up for the fact that I never got to see Queen in concert. Almost.

Worst. Song. Ever: JLo's "Louboutins"

I'm not even going to link to this pile of crap, because once you realize this isn't a discarded SNL digital short, well...just the nasal, whiny "Ah'm throwin' on my Loobatons, Ah'm throwin' on mah Loobatons" over and freaking OVER. GOD. Good for you, you put some shoes on before storming out in a grand, trampling exit. Now stay gone, you humpy hoor.

Supernatural superfans at work

At left: Plastic Winchester Theatre! I love the caption: *fight is on* [Sam, naturally, is the one taken out early in the fight, as we all know he majorly sucks at hand-to-hand combat.]

Oh god, I am wiping tears from my eyes. Just discovered "Plastic!Winchester Theatre" a massive collection of hard/demented work a Supernatural superfan has done.

and totally unrelated to Plastic Winchesters, YouTubey goodness: "Supernatural - Do You Like Waffles?"

Hee. Oh, my sides hurt.

damn, October was fun

at left: the bourbon rack at Memphis Blues BBQ. Wound up October with vampires [Let the Right One In @ VIFC], roadside food [aforementioned bbq joint] and classic rock [Paint It Black] = a very Supernatural night.

I've been too busy having a life to actually write about it. I'd like to feel bad enough about it for a longer entry, but I don't. Let's just say that EVERY month should include two weeks holiday, your birthday and Halloween. And a three-paycheque month. And a huge-ass iMac!
Coming: reviews of the 20+ films seen in October, mostly festival fare. Woo.

-edited because I cannot spell today.

VIFF 2009 "Subtitles"

One of the funnier trailers running at this year's VIFF.

And so true. "Maybe." Hee.

make a wish...

At left: dream a little dream.

An evening walk on Saturday went from a milk run, to cream + brussels sprouts + of course, a digital camera. My own fucking fault for shopping on an empty stomach. When asked what my first picture would be [never owned a digital camera before], I was utterly stumped. I mean, ideally it would be a candid photo of Daniel Craig in my bed with a massive peen tenting the sheets, but whatever.

Walking home the long[ish] way round brought us to the part of the street completely duded up in full-on Halloween mode, thanks to another film crew. We stopped and watched a few takes, and then all of a sudden, all the film crew standing about looking Very Busy and Important suddenly looked up, waaay up, and even busted out digital cameras to film a very bright white light going very fast directly over us that turned out to be the International Space Station.

Oooh, pretty.

Then they quit fucking about and got back to work.

Here's a link to a cbc.ca story about a 400-strong group of University of Calgary students who used LED lights to flash the word dream in Morse code at the station as it flew by carrying UCalgary alum and Canadian astronaut Robert Thirsk. Then, they spelled it out in letters and finally created the shape of an eye that winked. Check it out on tonight's Daily Planet on the Discovery channel! The students plan to post their own clip on youtube and the univeristy website, so I'll update with the link to the no-doubt amazing video.

Okay, here 'tis: http://www.ucalgary.ca/news/utoday/september21-09/liftup

Awww.

Speaking of the Discovery Channel, here's a link to "The World Is Just Awesome" commercial [you know, the "boom-de-atta, boom-de-atta" one?].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BxymuiAxQ

lamest girl in blogland breaks radio silence

At left:

"What's a Winchester sandwich?"

Hey, y'all. I'm still here, and normally Tuesdays are a TV wasteland so I can siddown and update, but: Supernatural season 4 comes out on DVD today, so there will be something on TV tonight. Oh my yes.

Oh, and the day you say, It's OK, I don't hafta wash my hair tonight, I'll just ponytail the ganky mass back and get one more day out of it? THAT will be the day the Supernatural crew comes to your 'hood to film. Trust me on this.

Happy Canada Day! :::chugchugchug:::

This ten-year-old Molson commercial always made me laugh, and sums up a LOT about being Canadian: "...the beaver IS a proud and noble animal!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQAKECNrqMQ

Kanye West, self-proclaimed "proud non-reader" and douche

"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph."

I have just one question for a man in his thirties who is proud that he doesn't read books [yet has produced a 52-page spiral bound book he would like you to buy and read yourself, saying his non-readerness gave him "a childlike purity"], who blogs in ALL MOTHERHUMPING CAPS, who will leg-hump anything covered in fur or gold-plated - aaand that question is not: Kanye? Kanye stop being such an asshole for five minutes? but:

Bitch, do you know who the fuck this is?

Of course you don't.

UK emergency rooms brace for an onslaught of freezer-burned vaginas

According to Del Monte's spokewhores, "The limited edition Daniel Craig lollies are available in blueberry, pomegranate and cranberry, and contain less than 100 calories each.
They will be available during the first National Ice Cream Week which runs from today until June 7."

Until June effing 7th? Fuck that shit, it is ALWAYS Ice Cream Week chez Juno.

And see how I made it to the end of the post without making a "suck on Daniel Craig" joke? My mom would be so proud.

Oh. My. God. :::thud:::

File this under I Knew My Nipples Were Hard For A Reason: Hugh Freaking Jackman and Daniel Effing Craig are going to be on the same Broadway stage this fall in A Steady Rain, or maybe it's that dude Rain from Speed Racer, or maybe even Purple fucking Rain for all I care - all I know is it's got my naughty bits aflutter. I am already looking into selling a kidney on eBay to finance this trip. Seriously, I already have time booked off in September/October, in anticipation of the Vancouver Film Festival, but seriously? Fuck the festival.

edited to add: I had two separate pics of Craig and Jackman, which shoved the text from hell to breakfast; I just couldn't bring myself to use the Photoshopped pic Google found for me of both guys side by side, waist-deep in the sea. I mean, once you start Photoshopping guys together, it's only a matter of time before you go over the edge and start including yourself in said pictures. That way lies madness, and lonely evenings at home playing "pretend wedding" with your cats. Just ask Jennifer Aniston.

now *there's* something you don't see every day...

Unless you're me, and buy your weed from the Compassion Club, that is. [Plus, :::shrug::: Vancouver.]Want to blow your mind even more? Call 'em, press "2" for the daily menu, and listen to what 7 - 10 different strains of cannabis, plus extracts, infused oils, cannabis butter, tinctures, hash and edibles are available. Speaking as someone who smokes and votes, I'm looking forward to the day when this won't blow anyone's mind.

Wolverine's CANADIAN - fuck yeah! [eh?]

Jackman to self: "Yes, I am a sexy beast."

On behalf of all the estrogen in the theatre last night? Squee! Welcome to Juno's harem, Hugh. Now pull up a chair and get to work massaging my feet, you magnificent bastard.

blog nuts

OK, quick rundown:

I have a bathroom ceiling, yippee! This means that when the pipes burst again next spring [as is their wont], I'll be dealing with NON-asbestosy material all over my apartment. Which I guess is a good thing. Sort of.

Ma soeur TJ and I went halves on some patio furniture for mom, and mom & I even got it mostly assembled before TJ returned with dinner. Unfortunately, dinner was from the only non-sucky Japanese restaurant for miles, which packaged every single item it could into its own separate styrofoam container. I mean, I'm not advocating gyoza swimming in sunomono, but the rice? Can easily go in the same container as the teriyaki beast. Whatever, I'm going to have to buy some carbon credits or make a huge guilt donation to Greenpeace, or the Green Party, or really anything with the word "green" in it to offset my guilt. I'm sorry, planet. We won't order from there again.

Between the ongoing repair in the bathroom [seriously, it was a month from start to finish at least] and drama with a noisy new neighbour, I frigging NEED my stupid toothbrush that plays Destiny's Child's "Survivor" for 2 minutes while I brush and psych myself up for the day. Sometimes you just need to start off [and wind up] your day with the ultimate breakup song. Hence the blog nuts.

Happy 420, Vancouver

I'm getting a contact high just from looking at all that smoke. *cough*

Did I mention I freakin' love Vancouver? And do you think this shit would fly in the states? Hell to the hell to the HELL to the NO.

I see your squee and raise you a squee

Long story short: I have NO bathroom ceiling, the properly HAZMAT-ed guys showed up to do the job, and the right picture of Daniel Craig can make me forget all about my lungs crudding up into big lumps of scar tissue forty years down the road..

"Impending death! Dooooom!"

"But look, he's so cute he's even changed my mind about my "no facial hair" rule. Squee!"

"But, doooom!"

"Squee!"

"You win."

Just hold me, dude.

My dream UNsexy "comfort" three-way is me, Obama, and The Rock. I mean, if The Rock told you everything was going to be OK, you'd believe him, wouldn't you?
Fuck. I may have to go see that Witch Mountain movie just so I can stop gnawing my [no doubt asbestos-covered] nails and just freaking unclench.

Oh motherfucker. Everybody hit the deck, this NOT a fucking drill.

I 've spent the last week freaking out over the possibility that my [old-ish] apartment has asbestos drywall, which wouldn't be something to spazz about if there hadn't been some leaky pipes, with subsequent ginormous holes cut in my bathroom ceiling - for the second time in less than a year. And the people doing all the cutting? Are NOT dressed up in HAZMAT gear like they ought to, like I give a fuck about them, because this my goddam home we are talking about and they are tracking drywall shit all over my apartment. All over. Building management is way too laid-back about this, and the managers [read: custodian/rent collector] is amazingly unprofessional and just a dash of high-school bitchy; when told that I can see into an adjoining suite from my shower, and they can see me, Anonymous Fuckface Bitch's response? "Oh, nobody wants to look at YOU." Suck my dick, I thought, but lacked the balls to say.
I've spent the last day freaking out because it's confirmed, it IS asbestos drywall, and this is one post where I can't be funny or snarky or happy here.

that's the kind of sugar mama likes

At left: Daniel Craig wearing lots of clothes and smiling! Oh, and only one more sleep until Quantum of Solace on DVD! Squee, indeed.

heh heh heh

It's been over two months since I posted a picture of Daniel Craig shirtless - I know - what the HELL? Where are my priorities?

Above: can you believe this bit keeps on getting cut from the TV broadcasts of Tomb Raider? I repeat: The. Hell? Not something you see every day...well, unless you're me. And have a shrine to the demigod of studliness at your desk.

It's spring! About frigging time.

It's official; it's spring. Just thought I'd share that with y'all.

Sure signs: cherry blossoms [GVRD has 36,000 cherry trees just waiting to go "kaboom!" in a pink explosion], increased filming locally [not just current locally shot series - hel-lo, Supernatural and Smallville, but also pilots being filmed for - they hope - fall '09 debuts] and oh yeah, totally fucked up weather. Snow in the morning, sunny sidewalk cafe weather in the afternoon. Sheesh.

Who's sexier: Silhouette or Night Owl?

OK, I've included some spoilers, but they're in black text, so just highlight the blank spots in the paras below to read them, refrain from highlighting for blissful ignorance.

First off, DO NOT take kids to see Watchmen. It has an R rating for a reason. Secondly, don't let reviewer's rumblings of how misogynist and violent to women the film is keep you from seeing it; it kind of is, but the violence gets equally spread around to men, women, kids, animals...I was a bit apprehensive because from what little I had read before seeing the movie it looked like more Sin City-esque 'tude; namely, that if you dress up misogynist pigfuckery and women as victims and only as victims ["Oh save me, I'm just a woman!"] in stylish art direction and call it noir, it's somehow OK. The only bad taste the movie left in my mouth was the Comedian's resemblance to Robert Downey, Jr. - I will forever get a twinge of "ew" when I look at RDJ and see the archetypal sleazy, nasty uncle. The one who's really your dad. Say it with me: Ew.

We arrived at the theatre a few minutes into the film, but before the main titles, and before the expository flashback [and can I just say, Silhouette is one sexy bitch, especially in the scene where she sweeps the nurse off her feet and just plants one on her. Whew. Never mind what woman I would go gay for, I think I have gone gay for Silhouette, played by gorgeous Vancouver artiste Apollonia Vanova.] Also, when Dr. Manhattan isn't wearing his Posing Pouch of Justice, he is noticeably swingin' some serious pipe. The only other thing I'm gonna say is that the wrong pair of glasses can dork a guy up beyond redemption - Night Owl is pretty darn lickable when he takes off those horrid seventies-style aviator specs, as the Silk Spectre finds when the two finally get together in a very sexy and very sweet scene. And hot. Did I mention hot?

If you're keeping an eye out for Vancouver landmarks, forget it; nothing to indicate the movie was filmed in Vancouver except the inevitable appearance by CTV's Mi-Jung Lee as an anchorwoman. I don't think that really counts as a spoiler. Oh, and Baber from Little Mosque on the Prairie has a small scene! And what Dr. Manhattan has to say about miracles at the very end is really quite moving, but that could have been the pre-film hoot talking ["for to enhance viewing of moviefilm"].

So, to recap: the movie is awesome, don't take the kids, go to the bathroom before the film starts, and bring your own snacks [it bears repeating: y'mama's got to hold on to her money, and I advise y'all to do the same].

better than ice cream

Let the Right One In is out on DVD, today! No more sleeps! God, I am such a big nerdy fangirl. Stay tuned for the inevitable gushing review, and the long-awaited smackdown between [REC] and Quarantine. But for now, I'm about to scarper off to the Buy More as it's ten bucks cheaper than it would be at Happy Bats. Sorry Bats, but y'mama's got to hold onto her money.

Spike & MIke's Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation...blows. BIG time.

A couple weeks ago, Miss M and I checked out Spike & Mike's Blah Blah Blah at The Rio on Broadway and Commercial. Miss M had been in years past; me, never. It should have been a fun evening: start off with the best pizza in East Van at Uncle Fatih's across from the theatre, and then bring on the sick & twisted cartoons.

Except....it wasn't. The cartoons appeared to be pretty much tired, the bottom of the barrel. It's not that I'm shocked or grossed out, just really disappointed, and you could feel the crowd's collective vibe of "meh". OK, there were some standouts, but in a hour-plus long show, they shouldn't have been so few and far between. A lot of them were around ten years old, or student portfolio pieces, and if you can't be technically amazing, at least be funny. Not asking for the world here.

The standouts were:

Fantaisie in Bubblewrap:

http://www.metcalflovesyou.com/Metcalf%20Loves%20You/Fantaisie%20in%20Bubblewrap.html

The Furious Little Cinnamon Bun: an angry little pastry totally loses its shit and incurs the wrath of the Great Dick In The Sky. Actually, anything at http://www.lonesausage.com/ is pretty good.

http://www.mondominishows.com/index.php?IdEpisode=552&episodesPage=0&series=28

Washington: who knew George Washington was so badass?

http://stickam.com/viewMedia.do?mId=173792142

I mean, DAMN. I have never known cartoons to suck the fun out of an evening, but Spike & Mike sure did.

Valentine's day PSA: It's Not Too Late To Pull This Out Of The Fire

First off, if you’re getting started now, you, my friend, are screwed. Forget about booking a table; every restaurant that isn’t the Pantry or ABC Country Restaurants was booked weeks ago, champagne is expensive and as hard to find now as it is New Year’s Eve, a dozen roses are hellaciously expensive….you get the drift.

Be original, and look like you spent a million bucks, I mean, like you really care.
First stop, Pyrrha. Or more accurately, Blue Ruby for Pyrrha.
Be forewarned: giving a woman a pendant could signify more than you intended, so the cowardly will want to opt for bracelets or earrings.
Pyrrha is a Vancouver company who make unique, lovely, inexpensive sterling, bronze and even 14k gold seal necklaces – they’re castings of authentic 19th-century wax seals. There are tons to choose from, from simple initials, to heraldry and crests, and lots with love and fidelity themes. Mine is a bronze casting about 1.5” x 1” of a rosebush, and the millimeter-high inscription reads “thy sweetness is my life”. [Because even I could be a little fucking sweeter.] Except for the 14k pieces, prices hover around $100 - $130, and that is getting off cheap for the lover’s holiday. Even more romantic? Go down to the shop together and pick them out together.
http://www.pyrrha.com/
http://www.blueruby.com/

OK, on to the quaffables. Why, oh why, are you not drinking ice wine right this very minute? Yeah, a teensy bottle will set you back around $50 but so will the good bubbly stuff, and if you haven’t noticed, the theme is local V-day goodies here. Plus, you can get away with serving it in chilled shot glasses instead of regular wineglasses, therefore stretching things a bit. Your local off-license will have ice wine, and so will even your local liquor store [to my American friends: yes, we have government-run liquor stores up here. Believe it!].

You don’t really expect me to list the stores that sell this shit, do you?

Dinner’s ready! Why even try to impress him/her with a restaurant meal when you can whomp up a romantic meal right in your own home, mere steps away from the bedroom. If you honestly can’t cook, some Indian take-away bubbling on the stove looks pretty damn convincing; greet your sweetie at the door with a spoonful of vindaloo or butter chicken, and plant one on them to forestall the inevitable questions about when you learned to make pakkoras.

OK, gifts. :::sigh::: Guys, a bear holding a plush heart says only, "I left this to the last minute." Hit Lush, the bath bomb store, for a Tisty Tosty aka the rose-scented heart-shaped bomb with 7 rosebuds embedded in it. They have locations around the city, most notably in Metrotown and on Robson, full of imaginative, indulgent bath and skin products made by hand with organic ingredients. At the very least, pick up a melty massage bar made with chocolate and honey for a mere eight bucks. If you cost out all the sexy time you’ll have by the time the bar’s melted away, it looks like an even better deal – and anybody who’s ever spilled massage oil on good sheets or the floor will appreciate the solid-but-melty format.
http://www.lush.ca/

Upgrade from Pot of Gold to Purdy’s; Purdy’s makes the country’s best chocolate, and even the No Sugar Added chocs don’t have the problematic texture issue other NSA chocs do; trust me, there is creaminess aplenty in the assorted box, and this year they have the most adorable sugar-free cupid! Sorry, I just get all squee-y when good diabetic sweets come my way.

Well, that’s it. Guys, I can’t help you with the fact that a dozen roses has shot to $50.00 a dozen from $24.99 for this one day; red roses are kind of traditional, so if you really want to get lucky, you may have to pony up for the damn things. Just, for the love of God and eight-pound, six-ounce baby Jesus, DO NOT forget to take your socks off first. Ask any woman - a naked man with socks on is the ultimate mood killer.

Happy stuffing!

Hooray for boobies

Salma Hayek just out-awesomed Angelina Jolie and replaced her as the woman I'd go gay for. Partly because Angelina is now so thin, she's crossed the line into "pretty face, but too skinny to fuck" territory, but mostly because on a recent trip to Sierra Leone, Salma encountered a baby whose mother had no milk, and what does she do? Busts out a chichi and feeds the child herself. Salma's boobies have healing powers! That's right, healing powers, people! Avert your gaze from her bodacious bits and make do with these juicy juicy tomatoes.

This post is one big pride float

Nothing says "last day - EVER! - of Bush, first day of Obama" quite like Durex's balloon animal porndogs. Whee! They are dirty little bastards: they do the reverse cowgirl, they pull a train, they hit it from the back. Also, adding to the big ol' pride parade theme is the gayest tattoo ever, and when I say "gay" I don't mean "lame" or "it sucks", I mean GAY, so get off my ass, Wanda Sykes. Patrick Swayze as a Chippendale centaur with groovy wavy rainbows? So very very gay. Even without the rainbows. Suck on THAT, California.

I can't promise you'll get it by inauguration day

...but, as the website points out, the shirt is still valid for four to eight years. The only reason I'm not sporting an "Obama on a Unicorn" tee right now is the fact that Chris Bishop doesn't get that fat babes love Obama, too. Buy buy buy at chrisbishop.com! But only if you can wedge your girly self into a size large. Fuck, fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

January 1st:: heeeurgghh!

At left: yes, I know it's a fricking pumpkin. You do NOT want to see anything more lifelike than this. Trust me.
Even though I didn't have any alcohol New Year's Eve, by 4pm the next day, I found myself thinking, "You know, if you barf you'll just feel so much better." Which was a complete waste of a spicy prime rib breakfast hash with hollandaise sauce and a Limoncello lemonade....god, no fucking wonder.
And since you're wondering, yes, I did feel better. And now I know that Limoncello aka wonderfulness in a bottle, is not to be trifled with.

2008 definitely didn't suck

Actually, it was pretty awesome. Wound up 2008 12/28 with an evening at the Orpheum, a posh gilt-edged, velvet-draped, 'thirties movie palace converted to a home for the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra doing Bugs Bunny On Broadway, an evening of classic cartoons with accompaniment from the VSO because not only did Chuck Jones et al use a lot of classical and opera in their work, they also had original scores. It was quite simply awesome. I know I've used the phrase "toe-curling delight" a lot on this blog, but this just out-squee-ed them all. The audience was about 99% adults, some small kids [who this was obviously a big night out for, and were *amazingly* well-behaved]. So, the VSO played with a 15' x 15' screen right above them with all the great musical cartoons - "Kiww the wabbit! Kiww the wabbit!", Michigan J. Frog, the Rabbit of Seville - I'm so glad I didn't wear mascara because I laughed so hard I cried. And having the event at the Orpheum was doubly cool because this really was a theatre where back in the thirties to the sixties, you would have been able to see these cartoons, with a newsreel, an action serial and your movie. And with audience reaction, something really lacking from all those 6:00 am wakeups as a kid, trying to watch Merrie Melodies or Funorama quietly while fishing through the Honeycombs cereal box for whatever piece of crap toy was on offer at the time.

Other highlights from 2008? A couple standouts from September/October's film festival.
I'm really looking forward to the DVD release of Let The Right One In on March 10th/09; I find myself rereading the book to recapture the bits from the film I enjoyed so much, I'd honestly recommend you see the movie first, if there are any arty-type movie rental places near you that might carry festival fare.
The festival was so much fun; besides LTROI, I saw a dozen films, among them [REC] the Spanish original that Quarantine was based on [if you call a shot-for-shot remake "based on"] - [REC] appeared at the festival at the same time Quarantine was in theatres, and how could I turn down my only chance to see the original on the big screen?]. I cannot remember the last time I went to a scary movie and actually screamed - but my friend & upstairs neighbor Miss M assures me I was, in fact, screaming. Gaah! Zombie outbreak in an apartment building, with joggly Blair Witch-style camerawork, and these are not your slow-moving, bumping-up against-the wall, "Braaaaaaainnss..." zombies, no. They are frisky, and pissed off, and could probably outrun Ben Johnson. So of course "How zombie proof is your apartment?" has become the subject of much debate between me and my neighbours. It is agreed we need to make friends with the people in the penthouse suite pronto, because the elevator goes all the way up only with a special key, so it might not be a bad idea to show up with a bottle of wine NOW, just in case. However, the weird noises in [REC] *were* coming from the upstairs apartment [and thank you, Quarantine for ruining the final, night-vision shot of [REC] with your frigging trailer].

James Bonds [plural!] love fat chicks

Damn, Pierce Brosnan's wife Keely has a top AND a bottom. I mean, it's kinda hard to compare when you're standing next to a man whose physique very closely resembles that of a string bean, but seriously, DAMN.
[See 07/25/08 post, Daniel Craig loves fat chicks]: it's a nice fantasy that James fucking Bond likes "something to grab onto".
Holy crap, I got my wish.
What next, it starts raining frappuccinos?

hell yes I'd hit it

At left: Daniel, get your ass out of those fugly baggy shorts and into a Speedo PRONTO. And then flex a bit.
dlisted.com posed the question, "Would you hit it?", pointing out Craig is looking "a little jellyish in the chichi and belly areas." Absolutely I would hit that shit; I'd be on that perfectly formed ass like it was a Chinese buffet. The picture raises some interesting questions: is this just a snack food orgy, or a smallish entourage? Is there an official "holder of the chip bag", like an umbrella holder? And, more importantly, is there a job opening for a fluffer?
Considering Britain's penchant for deep-frying everything, I guess we should all be thankful it's just a bag of chips and not a bacon-wrapped deep-fried Mars bar.