Arm porn: pretty much the most flesh on display in Supernatural. I feel like a Victorian-era horndog who has just gotten a glimpse of raw, hot, SEXAY ankle.
Dlisted.com reports some other piece won the role of Conan the Barbarian in a franchise reboot over Jared. Fuck my life. Seriously. Jared Padalecki in fur undies on a 3-story multiplex screen would SO have made up for the straight-to-DVD Christmas movie, Thomas Kinkade’s Home for Christmas, that I misspent an hour of my life watching online during the Christmas holidays. My only excuse is Supernatural was on hiatus and I was jonesing badly.
Even so, I still bailed at the movie's halfway point.
It's not that Jared's bad in it [although I will never watch it again], it's the character he plays, Thomas Fucking Kinkade, hack painter extraordinaire. I hate the unbearable tweeness that is Kinkade and I'm talking HAAAAATE with the burning intensity of a thousand fiery suns kind of hate. The man churns out sugary sweet cottages with warm light glowing from every window, OVER AND FUCKING OVER AND O.V.E.R. In point of fact, for that much orange glow to come from any window would actually mean the inside of the house was on fire [Jesus, do I wish. Maybe with the unbearably twee occupants trapped inside as well.]
Below, a video review from pajiba.com (worth it for the payoff of the reviewer totally losing his shit laughing at the 1:30 mark and dropping the camera)
Jared in a Kinkade biopic instead of a loincloth? Oh HELL NO. There is no God.
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