RCFM: first farmers market of summer

Above: sweet, sweet, farm market booty: baby finger-length carrots picked this morning, a half pound bag of fresh, crisp, pea tips, and a half pound of mixed wee heritage cherry tomatoes, all for under ten bucks (the pea tips were the big ticket item at $3.50).


Above: gingerly getting over a lifetime of tomato hate with (L-R) bright orange Sungold (promising “tropical fruit flavour”), the unsurprisingly pear-shaped Yellow Pear, bruise-purple Black Cherry, and the round green-yellow Lollipop.
The verdict? I DO like tomatoes...if they're tiny, and pretty colours, and if you dip them in vodka before dipping them in salt. So, yeah, still hating the tomato. Sorry.



Above: the ruins of a beautiful lunch. Y’all are lucky I managed to halt smushing this sexy buckwheat cheese-on-ham action into my mouth long enough to get a picture: hot, crisp, paper-thin buckwheat crepe folded around béchamel sauce, ham, mozza, greens & thinly sliced tomato…this is beyond OM NOM NOM - this is mouthgasm. As I type this, there’s still an hour left in today’s market, and I’m wondering if it would be too piggy to head down for another one before the market closes. Hey, don’t look at me like that! Creperie la Boheme people are taking a two-month break and there’ll be no more crepes FOR ANYONE until August. AUGUST, dammit. I'm jonesing already.
Edited to add I passed on that second crepe and am regretting it big time, they're that good. Next Thursday I'll sample the other stalls' pakoras or beer brats, but it's just not the same. Sigh.

Hyack Anvil Battery Salute (yes, really)

It’s time for Hyack festival (the formal name given to May Day celebrations in New Westminster) and that means the Ancient and Honourable Hyack Anvil Battery Salute. It's a New Westminster tradition going back to Queen Victoria’s day, when in lieu of an actual 21 gun salute, gunpowder was placed between two anvils and then ignited from a safe distance (thank you, Wikipedia). So I've slept through every other chance to see this for myself...what? Trust me, day 3 of a 3-day weekend is the worst possible time for waking early to listen to loud noises.



The far end of that metal pole (I believe the technical term is ‘boom stick’) is glowing hot and will ignite the 2 oz. of gunpowder between the two anvils, sending the smaller, 150-lb anvil a few feet in the air. Note the guy standing fourth from the left protecting his junk from the ensuing blast wave.



Woo! Action shot! Note the anvil in midair at head height. Maybe Mr Fourth From the Left has a point; a rogue anvil to the crotch is no joke.



Wanna see it again? You would? Okay!



In between salutes, these guys would run in and quickly lay down new gunpowder and lift the 150-lb top anvil into place. What looks like a weenie roast in the foreground is the metal pole's tip being heated to red-hot to ignite the gunpowder.

After the anvil salute ( I lost track of how many exactly; I quit counting after 8 or 9 times) we all stood up for “God Save the Queen”.

Sometimes being a colonial is both charming and bizarre.

Why yes, as a matter of fact, this blog IS mostly fueled by bong rips in between Supernatural episodes. Why do you ask?

aw crap, seriously?

Do not be surprised when you see all the Impala-shaped dildos in your building's recycle bin this morning. Since Jensen Ackles officially went off the market last week, people from Vancouver to…well, other places, have been throwing out fuck toys that now mock us with memories of happier times. Sadness.

You should see the fucking ridiculous shoes I now have to learn to walk in after some badly-needed retail therapy at Fluevog. Seriously, if I hit a bit of gravel, I'm going to spin out and go down in a storm of "fuckit! fuckitfuckitfuckit!"s

Pretending to pinch off the bride's head a la Kids In The Hall ["I am crushing your head!"] helped somewhat (yes, I am twelve).

and a sexual harassment campaign is born

Curtis: Nice pic of the Impala. Mmm...pretty.

Juno: If I could have sex with a car, that would be it.

Curtis: I thought you wanted to be, and I quote, "the stuffing in a Winchester sandwich"?

Juno: Next time they film locally, maybe I should carry a big sign advertising "I DO THE WEIRD STUFF".

Curtis: The crew will love that.

Juno: I'd better specify "WILL BANG SAM & DEAN FOR FOOD"

Curtis: Boooo, says the crew.

Juno: OK, revised signage: "ONE FREE HANDJOB TO 1ST PERSON TO GET ME 20 MINS ALONE WITH SAM & DEAN"
And they get theirs AFTER I get mine. I been burned before.

Curtis: You're such a classy broad.

Juno: I know, right?

Happy 420. Now pass the damn chocolate.

It’s 420, and I have the day off for the first time in EVER, so I (briefly) toyed with the idea of going down to the Vancouver Art Gallery and lighting up with the rest of the crowd.
Cops and the population in general here are relatively cool with personal marijuana use, as long as you’re sensible and discreet about it. April 20th is the one day where thousands of people gather at the Vancouver Art Gallery (which was formerly the courthouse), to light up in a show of good-natured civil disobedience. Cops might watch, but I’ve never heard of any arrests or interference.
It IS tradition, and civil disobedience DOES rock…but I’m almost twice the age of the majority there, and there’s a point where partying with the youngsters gets a little…skanky?

Reasons to celebrate privately:

5] The cannabis chocolate truffles (made exclusively for the Compassion Club by Naomi's Naturals; dark chocolate with NO herb taste, rolled in Saltspring Island coffee...nom nom nom) were going to kick in any time

4] It was looking like rain (I know, it ALWAYS looks like rain)

3] Pho, barbecue and KFC (none of which can be found at the gallery) were pulling me in three directions simultaneously

2] I had just been to the BCCCS and between the pot truffles, cannabis and hash was loaded for bear…and couldn't wait to get home and roll around in it.

1] Dear Guy With Pot Leaf Necklace and Rapper T-Shirt Blowing Smoke At the News Camera: do me a favour – DON’T be on my side. Next year I’m going to dress like a businesswoman and tote my briefcase and ‘sexy librarian’ self down there to give the event some much-needed class.

That said - pass the dutchie.

do it for Science!

I've raved about vaporizers before, and the BCCCS has them for sale. They've also started a nifty rental program for members, where a $40 deposit and $8 fee lets one try out a Happy Vappy vaporizer for a week. Needless to say, GET IN LINE. So it's come my turn to go smoke-free for a week.
I'm also going to be road-testing and reporting back on a few other models NOT gotten thru BCCCS: the Volcano, and the iolite. One model that will NOT be making an appearance is the primitive BC Vaporizer - you actually have to unscrew a screaming-hot inverted jam jar to put your herb in the heater - MAJOR design fail. I can tell you right now, comparing the BC Vaporizer to any other model is like comparing a pointy stick dipped in dogshit to Mont Blanc fountain pens.