Sexual harassment campaign update

Or, The Continuation of Lady Effing Juno and Sir Curtis, Esq.'s IM Correspondence

Curtis: Is that a CASTIEL sugar cookie? I can tell you're counting the days until they film in your neighbourhood again.

Juno: I'm going to try to lure Jensen with a Mars Bar tied to a string, discreetly tossed his way since there's no getting past that bodyguard. THEN hit him with the roofie pie...good plan, yes?

Curtis: wait wat..He can be had for the price of a Mars bar? Hold on, I'm going out to buy one of those 4-packs

Juno: No, you get his attention with the mars bar, then reel him in (hence the string), then flash the boobs like so:
( . Y . ) < - which I haz and you don't so neener

Curtis: LOL...So, you admit you're a boob flasher. Well, acknowledgement IS the first step.

Juno: I don't WANT to unveil Shock and Awe, but I will if I have to.

Curtis: I admit to being a little surprised you didn't choose 'Sam' and 'Dean' for names.

Juno: Already taken. 'Sam' and 'Dean' are the washers in our laundry room when one takes them for a ride on spin cycle. When they start to ka-thunk, ka-thunk around the room on "spin" because of an uneven load, that's what you call a Big Daddy Winchester. Heh.

Curtis: So, we're leg-humping washing machines on 'spin' now?

Juno: Hey, I have needs. Also, I get clean clothes out of the deal, so win/win.

Curtis: You truly are elegance personified.

Juno: Believe it.

fa la la la la

Snow day snow day snow day!

What? Look, sometimes you have to make your own fun.

and THAT was the moment I decided "Fuck the earth, I am driving EVERYWHERE from now on."

At left: Mind bleach NOW, please.
All in all today was interesting - saw a rainbow, brought home a sack of chili/ lavender/ bergamot chocolates (and a cappuccino on the house!) from my new favourite shop and oh yeah - SOME DUDE HAD HIS DICK OUT on the train home. He was quickly bounced at the next stop (thanks, Green Ballcap Guy!) and it sparked some fascinating conversation about the weirdest thing you'd ever seen on SkyTrain. (The guy behind me won hands down with a sighting of a dude tearing off his own ear.) Transit is a harsh and often crazy mistress. Like, burn your shit on the front lawn crazy.

Octoberfest

Wow, October was busy. Wallowing in new movies for the first two weeks at the Vancouver International Film Festival, college applications, milestone birthday and Halloween (BEST. HOLIDAY. EVER.) Basically a whirlwind of weird cinema, cake, stress eating and costumes – why can’t every month be October?

Happy Halloween

Badder Homes & Gardens: Supernatural's Guide to Demon-Proofing Yer Humble Abode

...using only a Sharpie. As cool as it would be to have a devil's trap on the ceiling, for a renter, painting a pentagram & sigils is a great way to lose your damage deposit AND scare the neighbours. But transforming a cheap rug into a stylish trap for evil sonsabitches is a fun way to spend a rainy afternoon. And practical! I mean, you just never know.

Step 1: consult Supernatural Wiki. Check!
Sharpie? Check! OK, go!


It helps tremendously to use a bit of string as a guide for the pentagram and circle; you can get a bit freestyle-ish with the sigils, but you want nice tight corners on your pentagram. (And make all your sigils look like happy sigils.) I don't have to tell you to draw on the BACK of the rug, right?


It also helps to let each stage (circle/pentagram/sigils) dry for about 10 minutes in between each one; Sharpies are permanent, but can be a bit smudgy when fresh, and you are a) walking on this thing to draw it because it's too f'n big for the table, and b) going to put it INK SIDE DOWN on the floors you are renting. Do the math.


Ta-dah! The living room is now way more demon-proof than when you started. Zombies, though...that's another matter. Let's just say there's work to be done.

A dark day for us all

Last night I met Miss M & Brian at Hon's with plans to share lettuce wraps, potstickers, and a chicken-and-prawn potato nest (a crispy "bowl" of shredded potato, deep-fried and filled with broccoli, prawns, chicken and savoury brown sauce for about $10). We were gobsmacked to learn it was no longer available; apparently the fried "nest" (the best part!) is too time-consuming to make.
Sads. I will be spamming their comment box with pleas to bring it back.

Let me eat cake: sugar-free pot brownies

I had a tightly wrapped 1/2 cup of the BC Compassion Club's sativa butter in the fridge and a jones for a sugar-free dessert that wasn't fruit-based [Fruit crisp, I love you, but sometimes a woman needs some alone time with her chocolate. You understand, right?]
I tweaked this recipe which was originally from a Splenda recipe booklet. The single review mentioned the resulting brownie's "flatness", but I figured an extra scoop of baking powder would help. That, and doubling the recipe. And using pot butter.

When baking with cannabis butter ["cannabutter"], it's a good idea to go half cannabis butter, and half regular butter. Partly because it's potent and that's all you need, and partly because pot-infused butter tastes like, well, pot-infused butter. It can be overpowering if used straight [why I usually use the cannabutter in a garlicky bruschetta; to hide the taste, and because I love garlic. Pervertedly].

These turned out great; when cooled, it was a moist, dense sugar-free cake - and the applesauce and walnuts make it practically good for you. The cocoa masked virtually all taste of the cannabutter. I was so focused on getting to the end product ["whee, pot brownies!"] it wasn't until I had the more-cakey-than-chewy brownie moist chocolate cake with walnuts cooling on a wire rack that I realized I had made my first cake from scratch! Go me!
Best of all, I still had 1/4 cup of unused cannabutter in the fridge for the next attempt; I'm thinking of using darker cocoa, omitting the walnuts, and spooning preserved cherries over the cake. Oh my.

I tweaked the recipe from Food.com and doubled their version. My doubled, tweaked, pot-infused version [which can be halved and/or made with plain butter only, if that's the way you roll] is below:

Ingredients:

• 1 ^1/2 cup all-purpose flour
  
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
  
• 1 ^1/2 cup Splenda granular, sugar substitute
  
• 3 teaspoons baking powder
  
• 1 cup walnuts, chopped
  
• 1/4 cup plain unsalted butter, softened
  AND
  
• 1/4 cup cannabis butter, softened
  
• 1 cup unsweetened applesauce
  
• 4 eggs
  
• 2 tablespoons vanilla extract
  
• 4 tablespoons mini chocolate chips
  

Tip: butter will soften quickly if cut into small cubes [pictured]. If you want to make this without cannabutter, make sure the total amount of regular butter you use is 1/2 c. for the doubled recipe shown here, or 1/4 c. if halving the recipe.

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease a 8" x 8" baking dish with butter
  
• Combine flour, cocoa, Splenda and baking powder in a large bowl
  
• Stir in walnuts
  
• In another bowl, combine butter(s), applesauce, eggs and vanilla extract mixing well with a wire whisk [I went to town with my newly-acquired $20 electric mixer...the power! No more sore wrists! Mwahahahaha!]
  
• Add wet mixture to dry mixture and mix gently to combine.
  
• Fold in chocolate chips.
  
• Spread batter in dish and bake for 35 minutes.
  
• Cool on wire racks.
  
• Nom with a cold glass of milk. Enjoy smallish portions until you know where you're at; overdoing it on cannabis edibles can be uncomfortable. Just FYI.
  

Supernatural on location. Again. Some more.

The "Supernatural" filming notice taped to my front door sent me into a 30 second squee-ing fangirl loop of "OMG OMG OMG" and then "holycrapwhatamIgonnawear?" Miss M and Curtis were equally jazzed, and plans were made to watch the nearby shoot with a coffee to-go and some local eats after. The three of us love Supernatural like a fat kid loves cake; we are superfans (Miss M plans to paint a devil's trap on the underside of her trunk lid, like the Impala).


There are wins, and there are epic wins. But getting a picture with the freaking Impala falls under Astronomically Epic Win. Miss M got one too. Hai five!


Jensen Ackles doing his best James Dean.
The foliage in the picture makes it look like I'm hiding in the bushes. [Um, that wasn't the case. Just FYI.]

God, he even looks fine from the back. Mighty fine.

Supernatural on location: It's not stalking when THEY come to ME, right?

The definition of frustration: Supernatural comes to your town neighbourhood freaking block to film...and Team Padackles are utterly inaccessible. Arrrrrgh. Filming inside the house only, said house surrounded by foliage and trucks tightly bumper-to-bumper.

The upside: after drowning your frustration in a bowl of Romulan Diesel, you will successfully mind-meld with the most awesome lit-up tree EVER, like in Avatar (followed by sweaty, confusing dreams about trying to plug your ponytail into Jensen Ackles): "...Don't think of brawny forearms or nice crinkly eyes or the FUCKING ALPHA MALE PHEROMONES BLASTING OVER THE FENCE LIKE SEXY AIRBORNE CANDY ...breathe and concentrate on Echo and the Bunnymen album covers..."

Also, pilfering recycling a discarded "Temporary Filming" sign for the bedroom = WIN

More Farmers Market Shi- uh, Stuff

from top left: salty-sweet kettle corn; Happy Grater Is Happy; another bag filled for $20 with eggs, garlic, sweet onions, lettuce, eggplant, zucchini, and bunches of orange (orange!) beets.

RIP Ninja Video. NOW where the fuck am I supposed to watch 'Supernatural'?

The US government has ridden into town and saved us all from Archer cartoons and Supernatural reruns! I mean, their economy is in tatters, they're stuck in their longest-running war EVER and assorted biblical plagues, yet they still have time to save the world from streaming video. Thank GOD the US government is here to make things right.

Unlike past anti-piracy efforts, the sites did not actually offer the movies for download, but instead streamed the movies and TV shows against ads.

Dear Operation In Our Sites, please feel free to eat a bag of dicks. It's all yours. Enjoy.

Happy Canada Day

RCFM, again (hat trick!)

I know you all miss the hash joint-fueled Supernatural-obsessed posts, and I promise we WILL be getting back to that starting June 30th when Season Six filming begins (woooohooo!). I have a lot of prep work to do: getting my hair did, trying out vampy new shades of nail varnish and busting out my lucky leopard-print bra. It's work being fabulous.
Until then, you will read about farmer's markets and you will like it. (It's good for you.) Below: the contents of today's market bag. Not seen: huge head of organic butter lettuce @ $1.50 and a big orange heirloom tomato for, um...I forget.
Between the garlic scapes, tomato, itty-bitty baby carrots and butter lettuce, dinner tonight is going to be an EPIC salad...which is good because it's too fucking hot to cook.



Boom Giada: I Love/Hate the Food Network
(Boom Diada parody)

Royal City Farmers Market, part deux

OMG SCAPES!!!1!! Plans are to thinly slice, then roll around in, the fresh, garlicky goodness of 4-for-a-buck scapes as if they were catnip. My GOD I love garlic.
Oh yeah, more tomatoes. Maybe I'm just impressed by pretty colours, but they are growing on me. A bit.

RCFM: first farmers market of summer

Above: sweet, sweet, farm market booty: baby finger-length carrots picked this morning, a half pound bag of fresh, crisp, pea tips, and a half pound of mixed wee heritage cherry tomatoes, all for under ten bucks (the pea tips were the big ticket item at $3.50).


Above: gingerly getting over a lifetime of tomato hate with (L-R) bright orange Sungold (promising “tropical fruit flavour”), the unsurprisingly pear-shaped Yellow Pear, bruise-purple Black Cherry, and the round green-yellow Lollipop.
The verdict? I DO like tomatoes...if they're tiny, and pretty colours, and if you dip them in vodka before dipping them in salt. So, yeah, still hating the tomato. Sorry.



Above: the ruins of a beautiful lunch. Y’all are lucky I managed to halt smushing this sexy buckwheat cheese-on-ham action into my mouth long enough to get a picture: hot, crisp, paper-thin buckwheat crepe folded around béchamel sauce, ham, mozza, greens & thinly sliced tomato…this is beyond OM NOM NOM - this is mouthgasm. As I type this, there’s still an hour left in today’s market, and I’m wondering if it would be too piggy to head down for another one before the market closes. Hey, don’t look at me like that! Creperie la Boheme people are taking a two-month break and there’ll be no more crepes FOR ANYONE until August. AUGUST, dammit. I'm jonesing already.
Edited to add I passed on that second crepe and am regretting it big time, they're that good. Next Thursday I'll sample the other stalls' pakoras or beer brats, but it's just not the same. Sigh.

Hyack Anvil Battery Salute (yes, really)

It’s time for Hyack festival (the formal name given to May Day celebrations in New Westminster) and that means the Ancient and Honourable Hyack Anvil Battery Salute. It's a New Westminster tradition going back to Queen Victoria’s day, when in lieu of an actual 21 gun salute, gunpowder was placed between two anvils and then ignited from a safe distance (thank you, Wikipedia). So I've slept through every other chance to see this for myself...what? Trust me, day 3 of a 3-day weekend is the worst possible time for waking early to listen to loud noises.



The far end of that metal pole (I believe the technical term is ‘boom stick’) is glowing hot and will ignite the 2 oz. of gunpowder between the two anvils, sending the smaller, 150-lb anvil a few feet in the air. Note the guy standing fourth from the left protecting his junk from the ensuing blast wave.



Woo! Action shot! Note the anvil in midair at head height. Maybe Mr Fourth From the Left has a point; a rogue anvil to the crotch is no joke.



Wanna see it again? You would? Okay!



In between salutes, these guys would run in and quickly lay down new gunpowder and lift the 150-lb top anvil into place. What looks like a weenie roast in the foreground is the metal pole's tip being heated to red-hot to ignite the gunpowder.

After the anvil salute ( I lost track of how many exactly; I quit counting after 8 or 9 times) we all stood up for “God Save the Queen”.

Sometimes being a colonial is both charming and bizarre.

Why yes, as a matter of fact, this blog IS mostly fueled by bong rips in between Supernatural episodes. Why do you ask?

aw crap, seriously?

Do not be surprised when you see all the Impala-shaped dildos in your building's recycle bin this morning. Since Jensen Ackles officially went off the market last week, people from Vancouver to…well, other places, have been throwing out fuck toys that now mock us with memories of happier times. Sadness.

You should see the fucking ridiculous shoes I now have to learn to walk in after some badly-needed retail therapy at Fluevog. Seriously, if I hit a bit of gravel, I'm going to spin out and go down in a storm of "fuckit! fuckitfuckitfuckit!"s

Pretending to pinch off the bride's head a la Kids In The Hall ["I am crushing your head!"] helped somewhat (yes, I am twelve).

and a sexual harassment campaign is born

Curtis: Nice pic of the Impala. Mmm...pretty.

Juno: If I could have sex with a car, that would be it.

Curtis: I thought you wanted to be, and I quote, "the stuffing in a Winchester sandwich"?

Juno: Next time they film locally, maybe I should carry a big sign advertising "I DO THE WEIRD STUFF".

Curtis: The crew will love that.

Juno: I'd better specify "WILL BANG SAM & DEAN FOR FOOD"

Curtis: Boooo, says the crew.

Juno: OK, revised signage: "ONE FREE HANDJOB TO 1ST PERSON TO GET ME 20 MINS ALONE WITH SAM & DEAN"
And they get theirs AFTER I get mine. I been burned before.

Curtis: You're such a classy broad.

Juno: I know, right?

Happy 420. Now pass the damn chocolate.

It’s 420, and I have the day off for the first time in EVER, so I (briefly) toyed with the idea of going down to the Vancouver Art Gallery and lighting up with the rest of the crowd.
Cops and the population in general here are relatively cool with personal marijuana use, as long as you’re sensible and discreet about it. April 20th is the one day where thousands of people gather at the Vancouver Art Gallery (which was formerly the courthouse), to light up in a show of good-natured civil disobedience. Cops might watch, but I’ve never heard of any arrests or interference.
It IS tradition, and civil disobedience DOES rock…but I’m almost twice the age of the majority there, and there’s a point where partying with the youngsters gets a little…skanky?

Reasons to celebrate privately:

5] The cannabis chocolate truffles (made exclusively for the Compassion Club by Naomi's Naturals; dark chocolate with NO herb taste, rolled in Saltspring Island coffee...nom nom nom) were going to kick in any time

4] It was looking like rain (I know, it ALWAYS looks like rain)

3] Pho, barbecue and KFC (none of which can be found at the gallery) were pulling me in three directions simultaneously

2] I had just been to the BCCCS and between the pot truffles, cannabis and hash was loaded for bear…and couldn't wait to get home and roll around in it.

1] Dear Guy With Pot Leaf Necklace and Rapper T-Shirt Blowing Smoke At the News Camera: do me a favour – DON’T be on my side. Next year I’m going to dress like a businesswoman and tote my briefcase and ‘sexy librarian’ self down there to give the event some much-needed class.

That said - pass the dutchie.

do it for Science!

I've raved about vaporizers before, and the BCCCS has them for sale. They've also started a nifty rental program for members, where a $40 deposit and $8 fee lets one try out a Happy Vappy vaporizer for a week. Needless to say, GET IN LINE. So it's come my turn to go smoke-free for a week.
I'm also going to be road-testing and reporting back on a few other models NOT gotten thru BCCCS: the Volcano, and the iolite. One model that will NOT be making an appearance is the primitive BC Vaporizer - you actually have to unscrew a screaming-hot inverted jam jar to put your herb in the heater - MAJOR design fail. I can tell you right now, comparing the BC Vaporizer to any other model is like comparing a pointy stick dipped in dogshit to Mont Blanc fountain pens.

Supernatural on location, 3/17

I live within spitting distance of two areas used heavily for filming in New West [which is not a big town to begin with], and Supernatural shoots there around once a month...it's just a matter of spotting the bright pink TO SET or CREW PARK signs and the SFI = Supernatural. Sneaky, yes?

After getting within four feet of the boys last August while they were filming down the street, but being too shy, dammit, to carpe that diem and ask for an autograph or say hello [I KNOW, fan FAIL.] I now had:
- a digital camera
- balls to the walls.
I had gone down to the location earlier to chat with crew and find out who was filming what when - and I have to say the Supernatural crew are the friendliest towards fans that I've encountered so far. Awesome. They actually said, "If it weren't for you [fans] we wouldn't have jobs" and one fellow, upon my fangirl squee-ing, said, Do you have two minutes?
(You're effin' A I got two minutes, dude!)
and returned with an 8 x 10 of the guys. Nice! It's on the fridge right now:

Since filming would go 8pm - 11pm, Miss M and I went to Hon's for dinner, hit Tim Horton's for coffees to go, and swung past the film set on the way home [being mistaken for "background" peeps by crew. Woo!]
So Miss M spotted the Impala ("there'sthecarThere'sTheCarTHERE'STHECAR") and I got a quick snap:


Pretty sure that was Jensen in the passenger seat...and it took everything I had not to rip open my hoody and PRESSSSS everything up against the windshield...

...like this.

The guys were done their scene [staking out an apartment building standing in for a convalescent hospital, where Matt Frewer is playing Pestilence] in two takes and soon left. A bit anticlimactic, but let's be honest: any Supernatural sighting that doesn't end with Jared's remarkably broad shoulders as my ankle rest is very definitely not PRO climax. And I'm like 0 for 2 here, dammit.
So near and yet so far. Fuck my life.