Kanye West, self-proclaimed "proud non-reader" and douche

"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph."

I have just one question for a man in his thirties who is proud that he doesn't read books [yet has produced a 52-page spiral bound book he would like you to buy and read yourself, saying his non-readerness gave him "a childlike purity"], who blogs in ALL MOTHERHUMPING CAPS, who will leg-hump anything covered in fur or gold-plated - aaand that question is not: Kanye? Kanye stop being such an asshole for five minutes? but:

Bitch, do you know who the fuck this is?

Of course you don't.

UK emergency rooms brace for an onslaught of freezer-burned vaginas

According to Del Monte's spokewhores, "The limited edition Daniel Craig lollies are available in blueberry, pomegranate and cranberry, and contain less than 100 calories each.
They will be available during the first National Ice Cream Week which runs from today until June 7."

Until June effing 7th? Fuck that shit, it is ALWAYS Ice Cream Week chez Juno.

And see how I made it to the end of the post without making a "suck on Daniel Craig" joke? My mom would be so proud.

Oh. My. God. :::thud:::

File this under I Knew My Nipples Were Hard For A Reason: Hugh Freaking Jackman and Daniel Effing Craig are going to be on the same Broadway stage this fall in A Steady Rain, or maybe it's that dude Rain from Speed Racer, or maybe even Purple fucking Rain for all I care - all I know is it's got my naughty bits aflutter. I am already looking into selling a kidney on eBay to finance this trip. Seriously, I already have time booked off in September/October, in anticipation of the Vancouver Film Festival, but seriously? Fuck the festival.

edited to add: I had two separate pics of Craig and Jackman, which shoved the text from hell to breakfast; I just couldn't bring myself to use the Photoshopped pic Google found for me of both guys side by side, waist-deep in the sea. I mean, once you start Photoshopping guys together, it's only a matter of time before you go over the edge and start including yourself in said pictures. That way lies madness, and lonely evenings at home playing "pretend wedding" with your cats. Just ask Jennifer Aniston.