Nothing says "last day - EVER! - of Bush, first day of Obama" quite like Durex's balloon animal porndogs. Whee! They are dirty little bastards: they do the reverse cowgirl, they pull a train, they hit it from the back. Also, adding to the big ol' pride parade theme is the gayest tattoo ever, and when I say "gay" I don't mean "lame" or "it sucks", I mean GAY, so get off my ass, Wanda Sykes. Patrick Swayze as a Chippendale centaur with groovy wavy rainbows? So very very gay. Even without the rainbows. Suck on THAT, California.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
I can't promise you'll get it by inauguration day
...but, as the website points out, the shirt is still valid for four to eight years. The only reason I'm not sporting an "Obama on a Unicorn" tee right now is the fact that Chris Bishop doesn't get that fat babes love Obama, too. Buy buy buy at chrisbishop.com! But only if you can wedge your girly self into a size large. Fuck, fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
January 1st:: heeeurgghh!
At left: yes, I know it's a fricking pumpkin. You do NOT want to see anything more lifelike than this. Trust me.
Even though I didn't have any alcohol New Year's Eve, by 4pm the next day, I found myself thinking, "You know, if you barf you'll just feel so much better." Which was a complete waste of a spicy prime rib breakfast hash with hollandaise sauce and a Limoncello lemonade....god, no fucking wonder.
And since you're wondering, yes, I did feel better. And now I know that Limoncello aka wonderfulness in a bottle, is not to be trifled with.
Even though I didn't have any alcohol New Year's Eve, by 4pm the next day, I found myself thinking, "You know, if you barf you'll just feel so much better." Which was a complete waste of a spicy prime rib breakfast hash with hollandaise sauce and a Limoncello lemonade....god, no fucking wonder.
And since you're wondering, yes, I did feel better. And now I know that Limoncello aka wonderfulness in a bottle, is not to be trifled with.
2008 definitely didn't suck
Actually, it was pretty awesome. Wound up 2008 12/28 with an evening at the Orpheum, a posh gilt-edged, velvet-draped, 'thirties movie palace converted to a home for the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra doing Bugs Bunny On Broadway, an evening of classic cartoons with accompaniment from the VSO because not only did Chuck Jones et al use a lot of classical and opera in their work, they also had original scores. It was quite simply awesome. I know I've used the phrase "toe-curling delight" a lot on this blog, but this just out-squee-ed them all. The audience was about 99% adults, some small kids [who this was obviously a big night out for, and were *amazingly* well-behaved]. So, the VSO played with a 15' x 15' screen right above them with all the great musical cartoons - "Kiww the wabbit! Kiww the wabbit!", Michigan J. Frog, the Rabbit of Seville - I'm so glad I didn't wear mascara because I laughed so hard I cried. And having the event at the Orpheum was doubly cool because this really was a theatre where back in the thirties to the sixties, you would have been able to see these cartoons, with a newsreel, an action serial and your movie. And with audience reaction, something really lacking from all those 6:00 am wakeups as a kid, trying to watch Merrie Melodies or Funorama quietly while fishing through the Honeycombs cereal box for whatever piece of crap toy was on offer at the time.
Other highlights from 2008? A couple standouts from September/October's film festival.
I'm really looking forward to the DVD release of Let The Right One In on March 10th/09; I find myself rereading the book to recapture the bits from the film I enjoyed so much, I'd honestly recommend you see the movie first, if there are any arty-type movie rental places near you that might carry festival fare.
The festival was so much fun; besides LTROI, I saw a dozen films, among them [REC] the Spanish original that Quarantine was based on [if you call a shot-for-shot remake "based on"] - [REC] appeared at the festival at the same time Quarantine was in theatres, and how could I turn down my only chance to see the original on the big screen?]. I cannot remember the last time I went to a scary movie and actually screamed - but my friend & upstairs neighbor Miss M assures me I was, in fact, screaming. Gaah! Zombie outbreak in an apartment building, with joggly Blair Witch-style camerawork, and these are not your slow-moving, bumping-up against-the wall, "Braaaaaaainnss..." zombies, no. They are frisky, and pissed off, and could probably outrun Ben Johnson. So of course "How zombie proof is your apartment?" has become the subject of much debate between me and my neighbours. It is agreed we need to make friends with the people in the penthouse suite pronto, because the elevator goes all the way up only with a special key, so it might not be a bad idea to show up with a bottle of wine NOW, just in case. However, the weird noises in [REC] *were* coming from the upstairs apartment [and thank you, Quarantine for ruining the final, night-vision shot of [REC] with your frigging trailer].
James Bonds [plural!] love fat chicks
Damn, Pierce Brosnan's wife Keely has a top AND a bottom. I mean, it's kinda hard to compare when you're standing next to a man whose physique very closely resembles that of a string bean, but seriously, DAMN.
[See 07/25/08 post, Daniel Craig loves fat chicks]: it's a nice fantasy that James fucking Bond likes "something to grab onto".
Holy crap, I got my wish.
What next, it starts raining frappuccinos?
Saturday, January 3, 2009
hell yes I'd hit it
At left: Daniel, get your ass out of those fugly baggy shorts and into a Speedo PRONTO. And then flex a bit.
dlisted.com posed the question, "Would you hit it?", pointing out Craig is looking "a little jellyish in the chichi and belly areas." Absolutely I would hit that shit; I'd be on that perfectly formed ass like it was a Chinese buffet. The picture raises some interesting questions: is this just a snack food orgy, or a smallish entourage? Is there an official "holder of the chip bag", like an umbrella holder? And, more importantly, is there a job opening for a fluffer?
Considering Britain's penchant for deep-frying everything, I guess we should all be thankful it's just a bag of chips and not a bacon-wrapped deep-fried Mars bar.
dlisted.com posed the question, "Would you hit it?", pointing out Craig is looking "a little jellyish in the chichi and belly areas." Absolutely I would hit that shit; I'd be on that perfectly formed ass like it was a Chinese buffet. The picture raises some interesting questions: is this just a snack food orgy, or a smallish entourage? Is there an official "holder of the chip bag", like an umbrella holder? And, more importantly, is there a job opening for a fluffer?
Considering Britain's penchant for deep-frying everything, I guess we should all be thankful it's just a bag of chips and not a bacon-wrapped deep-fried Mars bar.
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