rainy day fun

2011-10-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

Presented without comment: Ain't it good to be alive

2011-09-11T19:06:00.000-07:00

Supernatural on location, Season 7: Bring. It.

2011-08-21T14:10:00.000-07:00

Friday morning, another Supernatural filming notice (yay) for late-night filming in New West. That day during my coffee break, I called the show's production office to ask if either the boys or the Impala would be there, and if they would be filming interiors or exteriors (so important for stalkers to know). I was put through to location manager Russ Hamilton (the Supernatural production office has, unsurprisingly, awesome hold music; I listened to AC/DC's 'Back in Black' while waiting) and was assured yes there would be the boys, the car AND filming exteriors (what freaking good does it do me if they're filming inside a building? Can't see! CAN'T SEE!). Wahey!
So, even though I was a coughing, shivering ball of phlegm (summer colds FTL) I nutted up and re-did my makeup, fluffed up my hair and busted out my lucky bra, the one that pushes my boobs up so high they block my nasal passages. It's what Dean would do, if Dean had boobs. Amirite?

It's no wonder it takes 9 days to film an episode; in the 4+ hours I was there, 2 scenes were shot; one where Sam has a brief conversation with a blonde outside "Neal's Tavern", then walks over and kneels to something on the sidewalk she'd pointed out; and one where Sam ganks a demon-y type guy who was trying to kill a redhead (I'm guessing the redhead was also some kind of angel/demon, since Demon Guy had his hand on her forehead the way angels do just before they vaporize one of their own.

Red walks out to her car outside the "tavern", drops her car keys and is surprised by Demon Guy, who is in turn surprised by Sam, who skewers Demon Guy with a huge crescent-shaped piece of wood or bone. It didn't exactly go down like that, although that's how it will appear on the show; first they did the scene with Sam just pushing his empty hand against the demon's back (while doing the trademark out-of-breath "GAH! HUH!" that accompanies every Sam fight scene). Then they did the same thing without the car, and with the "handle" of the weapon sticking out of the demon's back, and then finally just with Sam and the demon and a stunt mattress, where the demon fell to his knees apres-gank, stayed upright for a few seconds, then toppled over face-first into the mattress, with CGI (demon skeleton lighting up inside/flash of light as angel vaporized) to be added later. On the second take the demon stayed on his knees for a long few seconds, head flung back and making all kinds of O-faces (Maybe it'll look less orgasmic on the show. Whatever, I'll never look at a demon-ganking the same way again) before toppling over, after which Sam said emphatically (to Red, and gasping as if he'd just run a marathon) "I seriously suggest you (unintelligible; could have been "wear sensible shoes" or "work out your issues")". I'm going to have to wait for the ep to find out (which is either episode 3, or 4, or 5, depending on which crew member one asked. But still, coolness. Absolute coolness.
In between takes? Everybody had a job to do but there was still some joking on the set; at one point Jared said, "Hey, Jimbo? That guy in the white shirt with the (unintelligible)...fire him, would you?" "Jimbo" turns to the guy and, pointing for emphasis, roars, "Yer fuckin' fired!" which got a laugh out of the entire crew. Also, Jared was doing some high kicks and stretches to limber up (mmm....extra bendy) and he can kick higher than most people's heads! I shouldn't be surprised given those long long legs....
So, the pictures didn't turn out great...would you like to see some blurry set pics of Jared? You would? Okay!
Pictured below: Sam & blonde random victim and two of THREE 8-foot metal fences between me and mah boo Jared.

Also, keeping things "cinematic": Making Streets Look Like It Just Rained Co. and using tree branches for dappled shadows. Did I mention the not one but three 8-foot metal fences between me and salty goodness? I did? Okay.

I'm a freaking cookie genius: Sugar-free pot-infused peanut butter chocolate bombs

2011-08-05T22:16:00.000-07:00

I'm a goddamned cookie genius. Seriously. I tweaked this recipe from food.com with the addition of cannabis and chocolate. How could this possibly go wrong?
I subbed pot-infused olive oil (thank you, BC Compassion Club) for the vegetable oil in the recipe and added 200 grams of chocolate. Yes, half a pound IS a lot, that's the point. The peanut-y dough is basically just a delivery system for chocolate, just as it should be. At 200 grams, this is the closest I've come to the perfect peanut/chocolate ratio found in a Reese's cup. Heaven. Totally worth getting fat over. And any herb taste in the oil is totally undetectable in the cookie. WIN.
One word: these are sugar free, made with Splenda/granular sugar substitute, and to be honest, you really DO need sugar for a chewy cookie. The texture of these is a little sandy, but they are freaking DELICIOUS.
Yields 24 cookies.

Ingredients
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour
1/2 cup Splenda granular
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
2/3 cup creamy natural-style peanut butter
1/8 cup pot-infused olive oil
AND
1/8 cup vegetable or olive oil (plain)
1 egg
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup/200 grams chocolate chips

Whether you make this with cannabis-infused oil, or straight vegetable/olive oil, the total amount of oil used should be 1/4 cup. Got it? Good.

Directions:
Set oven to 375 degrees.
Put parchment paper down on a cookie sheet.
In a bowl combine flour, Splenda and baking powder.
In a separate bowl, blend together peanut butter, oil, egg, water and vanilla; mix well to combine.
Mix wet with dry ingredients. I had to get in with my bare hands and squidge the wet and dry ingredients together....what?
Add the chocolate chips to the dough. Don't worry if it looks like the dough is barely holding the chocolate chips together.
Shape into 1-inch balls and place on the cookie sheet.
Gently flatten each cookie slightly with a fork.
Bake for about 10-12 minutes, or until lightly browned (I went 14 minutes)
Let cool on wire racks. You will be tempted to eat them all. Resist it.

Perfect day

2011-07-28T20:46:00.000-07:00

If 2011's lack of posts here has taught me anything about myself, it's that I'm apparently really big on "If you don't have anything funny to say, don't say anything at all", but with school

Community college: ain't no shame in attending one; the shame is for when the college can't spell "invalid" on their fucking official stamp.

and a new job - yippee, hurray!

...that pays 30% less than it should [UN-yippee, UN-hurray]

I had nothing funny left to say. Period.
Which made Saturday's breakfast with Miss M at Sophie's Cosmic Cafe in Kits even more full of win. We hadn't hung out in what felt like forever, found a parking spot right around the corner [savour the little victories] and not only was there no lineup, we had our pick of spots [patio, yay!] My camera battery picked a terrible time to crap out, but their eggs benny is amaaaazingg; there was almost no conversation after our food arrived, just serious eating. And then a trip to a shop devoted entirely to candy and then Zulu records. Much-needed good times.
It's just nice to win one, you know?

'Supernatural' bucket list: Hilltop Cafe

2011-04-26T20:58:00.000-07:00

For what seems like ages, I've wanted to visit the Hilltop Cafe (a teeny diner in Abbotsford that we always drive by). I mean, it's only a 40 km drive and the sign promises "The home of Famous Pies". But mainly because Supernatural's Sam & Dean met their half-brother Adam there in season 4. Forgot? Here's a link to a 1:43 youtube clip where Dean suspects Adam is a demon and tests him with a silver knife and fork and a diner glass of holy water. The place has been used heavily for TV and movie filming, so much so that it's been closed for the past few years to be used only for film work, it's so authentically diner-y (source: Katgurl). But now it's open, turning 65 and under new management. And there's pie. Did I mention pie?

Obviously, I HAD to go.

Five minutes from the diner, a new townhouse development: Winchester Townhomes. I took it as a sign. Well, it was an actual, literal sign reading "Winchester Townhomes", but I took it as a good omen re: bacon cheeseburgers and pie.
We got there at noon, but the place was only a third full - and TINY. I was ready to wait for the end table by the window on the left, determined to eat a bacon cheeseburger and pie in the exact same spot where Dean had sat. Fortunately it was vacant, which didn't stop me from sprinting to it as if someone else had their eye on it.

I swear there is a burger underneath that somewhere. But there's also Thousand Island dressing. On the burger. WTF.
No bacon cheeseburger on the menu? That is the basic, classic, default setting for a burger. I went with the Hilltop's Classic Burger (no bacon, no cheese. Sads.) with gravy on the fries. Unfortunately, the burger had "Hilltop sauce" on it, which is Thousand Island dressing in disguise, which is GROSS. Miss M would probably disagree since she loves Big Macs like a fat kid loves cake, but for me it's always been gross. Ketchup and mayo on a burger? Mouthgasm. Thousand Island should have stayed back in the 70's on a wedge of iceberg lettuce, where it belongs. Barf barf barf. And I can appreciate a juicy burger, but this was way too messy to eat. Like, lubed-up handjob messy. And as I think I have made clear elsewhere, I am a delicate goddammed apple blossom of Canadian fucking womanhood.

So, mission NOT accomplished; we'll be back for pie in summer when a trip to nearby Driediger berry farms takes us out there. But it's more for the sense of accomplishment than anything else..and maybe for the triple chocolate bacon cookies. Definitely not for the burgers.

lamest girl in blogland breaks radio silence, part deux

2011-03-20T20:16:00.000-07:00

So, you know how you can sorta lose touch with friends, and the longer you go without saying "hi", the more awkward it becomes ? So....
Hi. I'm back.

Sexual harassment campaign update

2010-12-27T17:42:00.000-08:00

Or, The Continuation of Lady Effing Juno and Sir Curtis, Esq.'s IM Correspondence

Curtis: Is that a CASTIEL sugar cookie? I can tell you're counting the days until they film in your neighbourhood again.

Juno: I'm going to try to lure Jensen with a Mars Bar tied to a string, discreetly tossed his way since there's no getting past that bodyguard. THEN hit him with the roofie pie...good plan, yes?

Curtis: wait wat..He can be had for the price of a Mars bar? Hold on, I'm going out to buy one of those 4-packs

Juno: No, you get his attention with the mars bar, then reel him in (hence the string), then flash the boobs like so:
( . Y . ) < - which I haz and you don't so neener

Curtis: LOL...So, you admit you're a boob flasher. Well, acknowledgement IS the first step.

Juno: I don't WANT to unveil Shock and Awe, but I will if I have to.

Curtis: I admit to being a little surprised you didn't choose 'Sam' and 'Dean' for names.

Juno: Already taken. 'Sam' and 'Dean' are the washers in our laundry room when one takes them for a ride on spin cycle. When they start to ka-thunk, ka-thunk around the room on "spin" because of an uneven load, that's what you call a Big Daddy Winchester. Heh.

Curtis: So, we're leg-humping washing machines on 'spin' now?

Juno: Hey, I have needs. Also, I get clean clothes out of the deal, so win/win.

Curtis: You truly are elegance personified.

Juno: Believe it.

fa la la la la

2010-12-26T12:16:00.000-08:00

Snow day snow day snow day!

2010-11-25T15:58:00.000-08:00

What? Look, sometimes you have to make your own fun.

and THAT was the moment I decided "Fuck the earth, I am driving EVERYWHERE from now on."

2010-11-08T22:18:00.000-08:00

At left: Mind bleach NOW, please.
All in all today was interesting - saw a rainbow, brought home a sack of chili/ lavender/ bergamot chocolates (and a cappuccino on the house!) from my new favourite shop and oh yeah - SOME DUDE HAD HIS DICK OUT on the train home. He was quickly bounced at the next stop (thanks, Green Ballcap Guy!) and it sparked some fascinating conversation about the weirdest thing you'd ever seen on SkyTrain. (The guy behind me won hands down with a sighting of a dude tearing off his own ear.) Transit is a harsh and often crazy mistress. Like, burn your shit on the front lawn crazy.

Octoberfest

2010-10-31T23:19:00.000-07:00

Wow, October was busy. Wallowing in new movies for the first two weeks at the Vancouver International Film Festival, college applications, milestone birthday and Halloween (BEST. HOLIDAY. EVER.) Basically a whirlwind of weird cinema, cake, stress eating and costumes – why can’t every month be October?

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T20:45:00.000-07:00

Badder Homes & Gardens: Supernatural's Guide to Demon-Proofing Yer Humble Abode

2010-09-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

...using only a Sharpie. As cool as it would be to have a devil's trap on the ceiling, for a renter, painting a pentagram & sigils is a great way to lose your damage deposit AND scare the neighbours. But transforming a cheap rug into a stylish trap for evil sonsabitches is a fun way to spend a rainy afternoon. And practical! I mean, you just never know.

Step 1: consult Supernatural Wiki. Check!
Sharpie? Check! OK, go!

It helps tremendously to use a bit of string as a guide for the pentagram and circle; you can get a bit freestyle-ish with the sigils, but you want nice tight corners on your pentagram. (And make all your sigils look like happy sigils.) I don't have to tell you to draw on the BACK of the rug, right?

It also helps to let each stage (circle/pentagram/sigils) dry for about 10 minutes in between each one; Sharpies are permanent, but can be a bit smudgy when fresh, and you are a) walking on this thing to draw it because it's too f'n big for the table, and b) going to put it INK SIDE DOWN on the floors you are renting. Do the math.

Ta-dah! The living room is now way more demon-proof than when you started. Zombies, though...that's another matter. Let's just say there's work to be done.

A dark day for us all

2010-09-08T14:33:00.000-07:00

Last night I met Miss M & Brian at Hon's with plans to share lettuce wraps, potstickers, and a chicken-and-prawn potato nest (a crispy "bowl" of shredded potato, deep-fried and filled with broccoli, prawns, chicken and savoury brown sauce for about $10). We were gobsmacked to learn it was no longer available; apparently the fried "nest" (the best part!) is too time-consuming to make.
Sads. I will be spamming their comment box with pleas to bring it back.

Let me eat cake: sugar-free pot brownies

2010-08-26T23:31:00.000-07:00

I had a tightly wrapped 1/2 cup of the BC Compassion Club's sativa butter in the fridge and a jones for a sugar-free dessert that wasn't fruit-based [Fruit crisp, I love you, but sometimes a woman needs some alone time with her chocolate. You understand, right?]
I tweaked this recipe which was originally from a Splenda recipe booklet. The single review mentioned the resulting brownie's "flatness", but I figured an extra scoop of baking powder would help. That, and doubling the recipe. And using pot butter.

When baking with cannabis butter ["cannabutter"], it's a good idea to go half cannabis butter, and half regular butter. Partly because it's potent and that's all you need, and partly because pot-infused butter tastes like, well, pot-infused butter. It can be overpowering if used straight [why I usually use the cannabutter in a garlicky bruschetta; to hide the taste, and because I love garlic. Pervertedly].

These turned out great; when cooled, it was a moist, dense sugar-free cake - and the applesauce and walnuts make it practically good for you. The cocoa masked virtually all taste of the cannabutter. I was so focused on getting to the end product ["whee, pot brownies!"] it wasn't until I had the more-cakey-than-chewy ~~brownie~~ moist chocolate cake with walnuts cooling on a wire rack that I realized I had made my first cake from scratch! Go me!
Best of all, I still had 1/4 cup of unused cannabutter in the fridge for the next attempt; I'm thinking of using darker cocoa, omitting the walnuts, and spooning preserved cherries over the cake. Oh my.

I tweaked the recipe from Food.com and doubled their version. My doubled, tweaked, pot-infused version [which can be halved and/or made with plain butter only, if that's the way you roll] is below:

Ingredients:

1 ^1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 ^1/2 cup Splenda granular, sugar substitute
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 cup walnuts, chopped
1/4 cup plain unsalted butter, softened
AND
1/4 cup cannabis butter, softened
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
4 eggs
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
4 tablespoons mini chocolate chips

Tip: butter will soften quickly if cut into small cubes [pictured]. If you want to make this without cannabutter, make sure the total amount of regular butter you use is 1/2 c. for the doubled recipe shown here, or 1/4 c. if halving the recipe.

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease a 8" x 8" baking dish with butter
Combine flour, cocoa, Splenda and baking powder in a large bowl
Stir in walnuts
In another bowl, combine butter(s), applesauce, eggs and vanilla extract mixing well with a wire whisk [I went to town with my newly-acquired $20 electric mixer...the power! No more sore wrists! Mwahahahaha!]
Add wet mixture to dry mixture and mix gently to combine.
Fold in chocolate chips.
Spread batter in dish and bake for 35 minutes.
Cool on wire racks.
Nom with a cold glass of milk. Enjoy smallish portions until you know where you're at; overdoing it on cannabis edibles can be uncomfortable. Just FYI.

Supernatural on location. Again. Some more.

2010-08-21T09:33:00.000-07:00

The "Supernatural" filming notice taped to my front door sent me into a 30 second squee-ing fangirl loop of "OMG OMG OMG" and then "holycrapwhatamIgonnawear?" Miss M and Curtis were equally jazzed, and plans were made to watch the nearby shoot with a coffee to-go and some local eats after. The three of us love Supernatural like a fat kid loves cake; we are superfans (Miss M plans to paint a devil's trap on the underside of her trunk lid, like the Impala).

There are wins, and there are epic wins. But getting a picture with the freaking Impala falls under Astronomically Epic Win. Miss M got one too. Hai five!

Jensen Ackles doing his best James Dean.
The foliage in the picture makes it look like I'm hiding in the bushes. [Um, that wasn't the case. Just FYI.]

God, he even looks fine from the back. Mighty fine.

Supernatural on location: It's not stalking when THEY come to ME, right?

2010-08-12T22:12:00.000-07:00

The definition of frustration: Supernatural comes to your ~~town~~ ~~neighbourhood~~ freaking block to film...and Team Padackles are utterly inaccessible. Arrrrrgh. Filming inside the house only, said house surrounded by foliage and trucks tightly bumper-to-bumper.

The upside: after drowning your frustration in a bowl of Romulan Diesel, you will successfully mind-meld with the most awesome lit-up tree EVER, like in Avatar (followed by sweaty, confusing dreams about trying to plug your ponytail into Jensen Ackles): "...Don't think of brawny forearms or nice crinkly eyes or the FUCKING ALPHA MALE PHEROMONES BLASTING OVER THE FENCE LIKE SEXY AIRBORNE CANDY ...breathe and concentrate on Echo and the Bunnymen album covers..."

Also, ~~pilfering~~ recycling a discarded "Temporary Filming" sign for the bedroom = WIN

More Farmers Market Shi- uh, Stuff

2010-07-22T22:49:00.000-07:00

from top left: salty-sweet kettle corn; Happy Grater Is Happy; another bag filled for $20 with eggs, garlic, sweet onions, lettuce, eggplant, zucchini, and bunches of orange (orange!) beets.

RIP Ninja Video. NOW where the fuck am I supposed to watch 'Supernatural'?

2010-07-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

The US government has ridden into town and saved us all from Archer cartoons and Supernatural reruns! I mean, their economy is in tatters, they're stuck in their longest-running war EVER and assorted biblical plagues, yet they still have time to save the world from streaming video. Thank GOD the US government is here to make things right.

Unlike past anti-piracy efforts, the sites did not actually offer the movies for download, but instead streamed the movies and TV shows against ads.

Dear Operation In Our Sites, please feel free to eat a bag of dicks. It's all yours. Enjoy.

Happy Canada Day

2010-07-01T13:50:00.000-07:00

RCFM, again (hat trick!)

2010-06-24T17:36:00.000-07:00

I know you all miss the hash joint-fueled Supernatural-obsessed posts, and I promise we WILL be getting back to that starting June 30th when Season Six filming begins (woooohooo!). I have a lot of prep work to do: getting my hair did, trying out vampy new shades of nail varnish and busting out my lucky leopard-print bra. It's work being fabulous.
Until then, you will read about farmer's markets and you will like it. (It's good for you.) Below: the contents of today's market bag. Not seen: huge head of organic butter lettuce @ $1.50 and a big orange heirloom tomato for, um...I forget.
Between the garlic scapes, tomato, itty-bitty baby carrots and butter lettuce, dinner tonight is going to be an EPIC salad...which is good because it's too fucking hot to cook.

Boom Giada: I Love/Hate the Food Network
(Boom Diada parody)

Royal City Farmers Market, part deux

2010-06-17T17:29:00.000-07:00

OMG SCAPES!!!1!! Plans are to thinly slice, then roll around in, the fresh, garlicky goodness of 4-for-a-buck scapes as if they were catnip. My GOD I love garlic.
Oh yeah, more tomatoes. Maybe I'm just impressed by pretty colours, but they are growing on me. A bit.

RCFM: first farmers market of summer

2010-06-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

Above: sweet, sweet, farm market booty: baby finger-length carrots picked this morning, a half pound bag of fresh, crisp, pea tips, and a half pound of mixed wee heritage cherry tomatoes, all for under ten bucks (the pea tips were the big ticket item at $3.50).

Above: gingerly getting over a lifetime of tomato hate with (L-R) bright orange Sungold (promising “tropical fruit flavour”), the unsurprisingly pear-shaped Yellow Pear, bruise-purple Black Cherry, and the round green-yellow Lollipop.
The verdict? I DO like tomatoes...if they're tiny, and pretty colours, and if you dip them in vodka before dipping them in salt. So, yeah, still hating the tomato. Sorry.

Above: the ruins of a beautiful lunch. Y’all are lucky I managed to halt smushing this sexy buckwheat cheese-on-ham action into my mouth long enough to get a picture: hot, crisp, paper-thin buckwheat crepe folded around béchamel sauce, ham, mozza, greens & thinly sliced tomato…this is beyond OM NOM NOM - this is mouthgasm. As I type this, there’s still an hour left in today’s market, and I’m wondering if it would be too piggy to head down for another one before the market closes. Hey, don’t look at me like that! Creperie la Boheme people are taking a two-month break and there’ll be no more crepes FOR ANYONE until August. AUGUST, dammit. I'm jonesing already.
Edited to add I passed on that second crepe and am regretting it big time, they're that good. Next Thursday I'll sample the other stalls' pakoras or beer brats, but it's just not the same. Sigh.

Hyack Anvil Battery Salute (yes, really)

2010-05-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

It’s time for Hyack festival (the formal name given to May Day celebrations in New Westminster) and that means the Ancient and Honourable Hyack Anvil Battery Salute. It's a New Westminster tradition going back to Queen Victoria’s day, when in lieu of an actual 21 gun salute, gunpowder was placed between two anvils and then ignited from a safe distance. (Thank you, Wikipedia. What? So I've slept through every other chance to see this for myself - trust me, day 3 of a 3-day weekend is the worst possible time for waking early to listen to loud noises).

The far end of that metal pole (I believe the technical term is ‘boom stick’) is glowing hot and will ignite the 2 oz. of gunpowder between the two anvils, sending the smaller, 150-lb anvil a few feet in the air and setting off a remarkable number of car alarms. Note the guy standing fourth from the left protecting his junk from the ensuing blast wave.

Woo! Action shot! Note the anvil in midair at head height. Maybe Mr Fourth From the Left has a point; a rogue anvil to the crotch is no joke.

Wanna see it again? You would? Okay!

In between salutes, these guys would run in and quickly lay down new gunpowder and lift the 150-lb top anvil into place. What looks like a weenie roast in the foreground is the metal pole's tip being heated to red-hot to ignite the gunpowder.

After the anvil salute ( I lost track of how many exactly; I quit counting after 8 or 9 times) we all stood up for “God Save the Queen”.

Sometimes being a colonial is both charming and bizarre.

Why yes, as a matter of fact, this blog IS mostly fueled by bong rips in between Supernatural episodes. Why do you ask?

2010-05-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

aw crap, seriously?

2010-05-17T13:08:00.000-07:00

Do not be surprised when you see all the Impala-shaped dildos in your building's recycle bin this morning. Since Jensen Ackles officially went off the market last week, people from Vancouver to…well, other places, have been throwing out fuck toys that now mock us with memories of happier times. Sadness.

You should see the fucking ridiculous shoes I now have to learn to walk in after some badly-needed retail therapy at Fluevog. Seriously, if I hit a bit of gravel, I'm going to spin out and go down in a storm of "fuckit! fuckitfuckitfuckit!"s

Pretending to pinch off the bride's head a la Kids In The Hall ["I am crushing your head!"] helped somewhat (yes, I am twelve).

and a sexual harassment campaign is born

2010-04-23T19:33:00.000-07:00

Curtis: Nice pic of the Impala. Mmm...pretty.

Juno: If I could have sex with a car, that would be it.

Curtis: I thought you wanted to be, and I quote, "the stuffing in a Winchester sandwich"?

Juno: Next time they film locally, maybe I should carry a big sign advertising "I DO THE WEIRD STUFF".

Curtis: The crew will love that.

Juno: I'd better specify "WILL BANG SAM & DEAN FOR FOOD"

Curtis: Boooo, says the crew.

Juno: OK, revised signage: "ONE FREE HANDJOB TO 1ST PERSON TO GET ME 20 MINS ALONE WITH SAM & DEAN"
And they get theirs AFTER I get mine. I been burned before.

Curtis: You're such a classy broad.

Juno: I know, right?

Happy 420. Now pass the damn chocolate.

2010-04-20T17:43:00.000-07:00

It’s 420, and I have the day off for the first time in EVER, so I (briefly) toyed with the idea of going down to the Vancouver Art Gallery and lighting up with the rest of the crowd.
Cops and the population in general here are relatively cool with personal marijuana use, as long as you’re sensible and discreet about it. April 20th is the one day where thousands of people gather at the Vancouver Art Gallery (which was formerly the courthouse), to light up in a show of good-natured civil disobedience. Cops might watch, but I’ve never heard of any arrests or interference.
It IS tradition, and civil disobedience DOES rock…but I’m almost twice the age of the majority there, and there’s a point where partying with the youngsters gets a little…skanky?

Reasons to celebrate privately:

5] The cannabis chocolate truffles (made exclusively for the Compassion Club by Naomi's Naturals; dark chocolate with NO herb taste, rolled in Saltspring Island coffee...nom nom nom) were going to kick in any time

4] It was looking like rain (I know, it ALWAYS looks like rain)

3] Pho, barbecue and KFC (none of which can be found at the gallery) were pulling me in three directions simultaneously

2] I had just been to the BCCCS and between the pot truffles, cannabis and hash was loaded for bear…and couldn't wait to get home and roll around in it.

1] Dear Guy With Pot Leaf Necklace and Rapper T-Shirt Blowing Smoke At the News Camera: do me a favour – DON’T be on my side. Next year I’m going to dress like a businesswoman and tote my briefcase and ‘sexy librarian’ self down there to give the event some much-needed class.

That said - pass the dutchie.

do it for Science!

2010-04-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

I've raved about vaporizers before, and the BCCCS has them for sale. They've also started a nifty rental program for members, where a $40 deposit and $8 fee lets one try out a Happy Vappy vaporizer for a week. Needless to say, GET IN LINE. So it's come my turn to go smoke-free for a week.
I'm also going to be road-testing and reporting back on a few other models NOT gotten thru BCCCS: the Volcano, and the iolite. One model that will NOT be making an appearance is the primitive BC Vaporizer - you actually have to unscrew a screaming-hot inverted jam jar to put your herb in the heater - MAJOR design fail. I can tell you right now, comparing the BC Vaporizer to any other model is like comparing a pointy stick dipped in dogshit to Mont Blanc fountain pens.

Supernatural on location, 3/17

2010-03-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

I live within spitting distance of two areas used heavily for filming in New West [which is not a big town to begin with], and Supernatural shoots there around once a month...it's just a matter of spotting the bright pink TO SET or CREW PARK signs and the SFI = Supernatural. Sneaky, yes?

After getting within four feet of the boys last August while they were filming down the street, but being too shy, dammit, to carpe that diem and ask for an autograph or say hello [I KNOW, fan FAIL.] I now had:
- a digital camera
- balls to the walls.
I had gone down to the location earlier to chat with crew and find out who was filming what when - and I have to say the Supernatural crew are the friendliest towards fans that I've encountered so far. Awesome. They actually said, "If it weren't for you [fans] we wouldn't have jobs" and one fellow, upon my fangirl squee-ing, said, Do you have two minutes?
(You're effin' A I got two minutes, dude!)
and returned with an 8 x 10 of the guys. Nice! It's on the fridge right now:

Since filming would go 8pm - 11pm, Miss M and I went to Hon's for dinner, hit Tim Horton's for coffees to go, and swung past the film set on the way home [being mistaken for "background" peeps by crew. Woo!]
So Miss M spotted the Impala ("there'sthecarThere'sTheCarTHERE'STHECAR") and I got a quick snap:

Pretty sure that was Jensen in the passenger seat...and it took everything I had not to rip open my hoody and PRESSSSS everything up against the windshield...

...like this.

The guys were done their scene [staking out an apartment building standing in for a convalescent hospital, where Matt Frewer is playing Pestilence] in two takes and soon left. A bit anticlimactic, but let's be honest: any Supernatural sighting that doesn't end with Jared's remarkably broad shoulders as my ankle rest is very definitely not PRO climax. And I'm like 0 for 2 here, dammit.
So near and yet so far. Fuck my life.

has anyone seen a hockey cherry? because I lost mine

2010-03-24T17:49:00.000-07:00

It's no secret the Canucks and the NY Islanders are, uh, not the best teams in the NHL, but when Curtis informed me he had a windfall of two free centre ice tickets to the 'nucks vs Isles game on the 16th I jumped at the opportunity. Night out with friends? Check. Free tickets? Check. Seeing a live pro hockey game for the first time eva? Check and check.
It's so different from seeing it on TV, where the camera largely follows the puck; you can see plays developing [and get a contact high off all the testosterone; Luongo, I WILL HAVE YOUR BABIES.]

So even though Curtis and I had never seen a LIVE hockey game before [because pro hockey tickets are also hella expensive] we weren't total noobs. Which didn't stop either of us looking up hockey basics for dummies the night before the game. Oh quit it. It's not like Canadians are born knowing this stuff.

As you can see, the seats were AWESOME.

Goalie Roberto Luongo [newest member of Juno's harem] is on the far right of the sausage party.

SEEING the puck headed towards you at 90mph is not going to make it leave less of a dent.

Zambonis were so much more badass when they were solid black. A zamboni that looks like a giant shopping cart is the anti-badass.

Mmmmm, Mike's Hard Lemonade slushies, coming right up...that IS where they come from, right?

Oh come on, does this much adorableness need a caption?

So, yeah, we ended up getting shellacked by one of the worst teams in the NHL. Which didn't stop me from jumping up and screaming "SUCK IT!!! SUCK IT!!!" at the Islanders whenever we scored on them. And the spirit of Olympic woo is still strong in Vancouver; when time came for the national anthems, I was belting out O Canada, yet couldn't even hear myself for the sold-out crowd doing same. Good times.

magnolias

2010-03-23T23:38:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday, Sarah

2010-03-12T06:49:00.000-08:00

for Sarah [left], queen of the girl power mix tape and one of the coolest, smartest, funniest people I know.
I have no words for how awesome this woman is.

[OK, maybe one word: Ayiyiyiyiyiyi!!] Happy birthday, woman! I looked for a picture of a Henry Rollins cake but was unsuccessful. Je suis FAIL.

More to love about Canada: pot cafes

2010-03-08T11:31:00.000-08:00

Saturday eve saw myself and the mighty Miss M back at the vapour lounge of the New Amsterdam Cafe. We had first gone during the Olympics, taking the "be a tourist in your hometown" thing to heart [and picking up a nifty bubbler by local glassworker Redbeard in the ground floor shop.]
The lounge uses the infinitely superior Volcano vaporizers, which heat your herb to the point where only pure, cool THC vapour fills the bag, [and that's ALL you're inhaling; no smoke, no burnt matter - sooo much easier on the lungs] which got two people elevated using only a fingernail-sized bud over the course of 40 minutes.
The Volcano website suggests using it to infuse food with herbs:

"The food (crab meat) will be placed into an oven bag and once your thyme has filled the contents of the VOLCANO vaporizers balloon, you can release the aroma into the oven bag. While your crab meat is being cooked, the great thyme flavor will permeate the food to leave a great taste."

I'm hoping the vaporizers make an appearance on Iron Chef, but I don't plan on ever using it to infuse food with herbs [unless "thyme-infused crab" becomes the new code for "meet me in back in five to get lifted".]

Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin spoof 'Paranormal Activity'

2010-03-08T11:18:00.000-08:00

This was truly the funniest thing I've seen at the Oscars in....ever? Enjoy, and wait for the payoff at the end. Oh, my sides hurt. Hee.

Reason # 452 to Love Canada [some more]: Socialized Medicine

2010-03-05T22:02:00.000-08:00

Above: Fair Pharmacare [BC Pharmacare's income-based assistance program] rocks! The less, ahem, *impressive* your income, the less you pay for prescriptions. Hooray for relative poverty! This wasn't even the only prescription I had filled today; the receipts for three months of meds totaled $440.21, five bucks of which I was responsible for and which the pharmacy waived. If I had to pay this all myself right now, it would fucking FLATTEN me.
See that "PHN" on the upper right? That's your ID, your Personal Health Number, on your government-issued CareCard, which you show at any doctor, pharmacy or hospital. Thank you, Tommy Douglas.
I hope the US gets the healthcare Obama's been trying for. No one should have to choose between buying medicine or food. Or be scared of a word like "socialism".

It was time for a Daniel Craig pic anyway...

2010-03-02T05:37:00.000-08:00

AAAAAND I've missed the last two chances to run a pic of Daniel Craig in his birthday suit, on his birthday.
Unless you're a celebrity gossip site [which...not so much], wishing celebrities happy birthday is IMO not a sign of mental stability, so I'll omit the bday wishes and say only I wish to God I was that glittery pink butterfly.

I want sprinkles on mine

2010-03-01T15:01:00.000-08:00

What do you do when the insanely hot ~~crushes~~ leads of your favourite show marry/have a birthday? Say it with cake, of course. So, happy bday today Jensen Ackles and a big "whatever" on Jared Padalecki's marriage (I had to go to charm school to learn to say "whatever" instead of "this is fucking bullshit" although Curtis seems to be taking it harder than I am).
[nicked from Cakewrecks.com]

rainydayfun.ca

2010-02-23T18:50:00.000-08:00

incrediblylongblogname.blogspot.com has shed a few pounds - now just rainydayfun.ca will get you here.

Worlds Collide: Valentine's/Olympics/Chinese New Year

2010-02-17T11:20:00.001-08:00

I'm gonna cop out and remind you all about a picture being worth a thousand words.

Tinseltown is a multiplex/failing mall by Stadium Station. The far entrance opens onto Pender, right in Chinatown, so the Chinese New Year parade always starts from inside the mall, then up Pender. Unfortunately, I missed the parade due to scheduling conflict [i.e. sleeping in and avoiding crowds]. There's vendors and [above] troupe after troupe of girls dipped in glitter and lip-synching to Lady Gaga. SO. CUTE.

Tinseltown's theatre peeps were nice enough to let me have five 11" x 17" Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassuss posters. Sweet. Curtis and I saw it at VIFF in October, and I've been looking for a cool souvenir ever since. See what you get when you say "please"?

T&T Supermarket for lunch to go and...Year of the Snoopy?

Geoduck: (pronounced gooey-duck )a giant mud-burrowing bivalve mollusk occurring on the west coast of North America, where it is collected for food [NOT A SEX TOY]. Its shell valves are not large enough to enclose its body and very long siphon
I wish I had a ruler for scale. These things are massive; I'm talking horse cock. And I'm guessing "geoduck" means "cock and balls" in Latin :::cradle the shell valves, work the siphon:::
This was the closest I got to peen on V-Day. Sads.

I take it back, THIS was the closest I got to peen on V-Day. So many people were wearing red on Sunday [red for Canada, red for Valentine's] that I almost didn't notice Team Russia on the train. And no, it's not a trick of perspective, they were frigging HUGE.

2/09: Olympic torch relay

2010-02-17T11:01:00.000-08:00

Despite all the ill will the IOC and VANOC have caused, I was in a state of woo for a couple days...I mean, all the tiny Canadian flags and schoolkids in red and RCMP cars with GO CANADA flags...*snif*

Above: Olympic torch coming through New Westminster, right up 6th St, a BASTARD of a hill; might technically qualify as small mountain.

Above: And there she goes.

I'm holding out for chicken and waffles. Because I'm classy like that.

2010-02-14T13:25:00.000-08:00

"...fancy places like Red Lobster or Golden Corrall"?? No. Comment.

sheer unadulterated WTF

2010-01-31T22:55:00.000-08:00

Is Coors simply a beer supplier to the Olympics, or the official beer? I mean, it's cute that the little mountain on the can turns blue and all, but American beer? Seriously? In Canada? I mean, I could make my goldfish swim in that watery piss, if I wanted to be mean to them.

No, the signage did not explain what a "sustainable dance floor" is.
I don't know. Maybe it's made out of hemp. Or yoga pants and Uggs.

just who do I hafta bang at Tourism BC to get some Super, Natural swag?

2010-01-26T20:43:00.000-08:00

Seen on the train home tonight:

"Super, Natural British Columbia" has been our tourism slogan/jingle since at least the seventies, [way before Winchesters were fighting evil] but unfortunately it's fallen by the wayside lately, replaced by the pretty much justified, yet smug "Best Place On Earth".

(Geddit? SuperNatural? OK.)

WANT vs. DO NOT WANT

2010-01-23T20:43:00.000-08:00

Arm porn: pretty much the most flesh on display in Supernatural. I feel like a Victorian-era horndog who has just gotten a glimpse of raw, hot, SEXAY ankle.
Dlisted.com reports some other piece won the role of Conan the Barbarian in a franchise reboot over Jared. Fuck my life. Seriously. Jared Padalecki in fur undies on a 3-story multiplex screen would SO have made up for the straight-to-DVD Christmas movie, Thomas Kinkade’s Home for Christmas, that I misspent an hour of my life watching online during the Christmas holidays. My only excuse is Supernatural was on hiatus and I was jonesing badly.
Even so, I still bailed at the movie's halfway point.
It's not that Jared's bad in it [although I will never watch it again], it's the character he plays, Thomas Fucking Kinkade, hack painter extraordinaire. I hate the unbearable tweeness that is Kinkade and I'm talking HAAAAATE with the burning intensity of a thousand fiery suns kind of hate. The man churns out sugary sweet cottages with warm light glowing from every window, OVER AND FUCKING OVER AND O.V.E.R. In point of fact, for that much orange glow to come from any window would actually mean the inside of the house was on fire [Jesus, do I wish. Maybe with the unbearably twee occupants trapped inside as well.]

Below, a video review from pajiba.com (worth it for the payoff of the reviewer totally losing his shit laughing at the 1:30 mark and dropping the camera)

Jared in a Kinkade biopic instead of a loincloth? Oh HELL NO. There is no God.

Big 6 diner: ur doin' it rite

2010-01-22T09:01:00.000-08:00

Above: the Big 6 diner's breakfast board. Yes, that IS a current picture; at $3.75, the trucker's breakfast is just a rummage in the sofa cushions away from heart-clogging goodness.
Bacon truly is Nature's perfect food. Especially when you've been up 'til 3 a.m. and are in dire need of the universal cure-all: a greasy breakfast. Don't judge! We've all been there. And no, you can't have any of my preciou - any of my bacon.

Colin James @ the Orpheum, 1/13/10

2010-01-16T22:52:00.000-08:00

In a perfect world:
"Hi, Colin? Longtime fan. The show was great! Could I get a picture with you?"

The Reality: "OhmygodColinI'vebeenafanfor25yearsandIswearI'mnotstalkingyoubutcouldIgetapicturewithyouplease?!?"

Oh well.

Left: "I'll take what's behind door number one, please."

Show over, I was taking some pictures of the gorgeous detail inside the theatre. Literally seconds after this snap, door number 1 OPENS - on none other than Colin Effing James, Esq.
I think we both startled each other but I am willing to concede my squee-ing fangirl word dump might have freaked him out a bit more. I bet he loves having this effect on women.

Happy to report that not only does the man rock the house, he is as sweet as pie to spazzy fangirls.

WIN. WIN. And more WIN.

2010-01-12T22:05:00.000-08:00

A trifecta of awesomeness: Happy Bats sale, best! pizza! ever!, and the BCCCS goes even greener.

Hot slice-on-slice action at Uncle Fatih's, corner of Broadway and Commercial. Yes, the slices really are THAT loaded with quality toppings; chunks of their [famously] roasted potato on the slice in back, and marinated spinach and artichoke hearts, olives & peppers on the sexy piece in front....all that plus a pop for four bucks even. That's four bucks CANADIAN. I know! Unfuckingbelievable. [Oh yeah, there's cheese on there too. Duh.]

No more plastic baggies in the landfill! BCCCS introduced cellulose baggies [right] this month, which will break down in 30 days if you compost them or simply bury them in your garden. Also: gifted with one of only 500 airtight tins for stash. Yay!

Happy Bats Cinema's cool t-shirts [and hoodies] are half off..so what are you waiting for? Buy buy buy! You can never have too many black t-shirts, and the 12.50 price tag rocks pretty hard too. I got three tees, one in each design [couch bats; director bat; pirate bats] AND a hoody for $70. Sweet!

glorious basterds

2010-01-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

I've been sitting on this waay too long. Matt & Mike Granger, two Vancouver brothers who work in the film industry, responded to MTV's 2009 challenge to "basterdize Tarantino" and the result is made of WIN. Zut alors!

"But Holmes!" Watson ejaculated [hee]

2010-01-04T17:24:00.000-08:00

Some bitch called Andrea Plunket has her panties in a wad over Robert Downey Jr.'s jokes [or ARE they, Andrea?] about how the simmering SEXAY subtext of Sherlock and Watson is gay gay gay.
Andrea holds the U.S. copyright to Sherlock Holmes, and has prissed, “I hope this is just an example of Mr. Downey's black sense of humour. It would be drastic, but I would withdraw permission for more films to be made if they feel that is a theme they wish to bring out in the future. I am not hostile to homosexuals, but I am to anyone who is not true to the spirit of the books.”

Whatever. She can deny it, but you KNOW Sherlock and Watson were having sexy times. They were! The truth WILL come out.
Don't believe me? Check out the graphic from The Arthur Conan Doyle Literary Estate Licensing website:
Okay, I might've added the boner [for purely decorative purposes]. But you can't tell me that doesn't look like a life partnership. A SEXY life partnership, if Watson's sassy posing means anything.
Send Andrea your 20-page faxes of crudely drawn man love today!

And thanks to RDJ for giving me something new to fap over.

have yourself a merry fucking Christmas

2009-12-24T19:50:00.000-08:00

I love that New West city hall has the glitter balls to flaunt, decade after PC decade, unabashedly Christmas-y adornment inside and outside. Hey, NW leaves "happy holidays" for the shopping mall. That's just the way we roll.

fancypants caramel

2009-12-23T23:20:00.001-08:00

I splurged a bit sugar-wise with Purdy's fancy [or silly, I'm not sure which] Himalayan pink salt crystal caramel. The salt crystals on top are supposed to boost the [already] saltysweet caramel experience, and really are pinkish.
Hmm...
[nom nom nom]
Yep, tastes like caramel and salt. Huh.

I got yer "festive" right here

2009-12-21T22:21:00.000-08:00

At left: unintentionally horrifying Santa cake via cakewrecks.com
I need a break from the soppy, saccharin holiday specials on TV. Hence some new Japanese horror [I love the sales bin at Applause Videos on Commercial Drive] that I fully expect to freak me right the fuck out.

and the funny just keeps on coming

2009-12-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

Watching "Staten Island" on freetube.net, apparently put up by some video store clerks, as every so often the audio on the movie is eclipsed by an angry nutter calling in to a Blockbuster video and wanting to know the employee's name and if they suck dick, before spewing insults at the clerk.
Best exchange so far:
crazy dude [ranting]: "I will track you down, scoop out your eyes and skull fuck you!!"
:::silence from clerk:::
crazy dude [conversational]: "So, how tall are you?"

So he wants to rape your skull, but there's a height requirement.
O-kaaaaay.

random hotness

2009-12-12T10:27:00.000-08:00

This picture is best viewed from atop a washing machine on "spin", with clothespins on your nips and being told repeatedly that you're a dirty, DIRTY girl.
Well, maybe that's just me.
Gawd, he's so pretty it hurts. I'm a sucker for the nice crinkly eyes too.

That is all.

look what the mail barfed up

2009-12-12T01:17:00.000-08:00

Above: sweet, sweet eBay booty.
Have dug myself out from under a teetering pile of empty toaster waffle boxes for some quick shopping for a Christmas parcel that had to go from Vancouver to the Kelowna branch of the fam [btw, Kelowna has its own lake monster, Ogopogo. I know, AWESOME.] Also cheered up by the arrival of a shitload of semiprecious stone beads ordered back in November. Mostly garnets, but also carnelian, amethyst, coral oh go on and spank me, YES I BOUGHT CORAL BEADS FUCKING HELL, aventurine, iron pyrite & peridot. Pretty. I have lots of ideas for bracelets.

I love the smell of cinnamon in the morning. Smells like "coping".

2009-11-28T22:07:00.000-08:00

At left: sweet nectar of the gods and Jared Padalecki's remarkably broad shoulders. Sigh. Cinnamon toaster waffles and whipped cream makes everything better.
-edited to add that a second look at the photo makes it appear I am trying to tempt the little people on the screen with waffles & wipp cremes. I'm not that delusional yet, but there's no denying Sam is eyeing that waffle. Heh.

Officially unemployed for 14 hours now. Have been playing "I Will Survive" on YouTube for 8 of those hours.

2009-11-26T23:46:00.000-08:00

Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

2009-11-25T23:47:00.000-08:00

I know this clip is on every site on the internet right now, but I had to post it anyway. This is awesome on about ten different levels. I love the web.

Beeker: "Mee mee mee mee!"
chorus: "Galileo!"

This almost makes up for the fact that I never got to see Queen in concert. Almost.

Worst. Song. Ever: JLo's "Louboutins"

2009-11-20T10:36:00.000-08:00

I'm not even going to link to this pile of crap, because once you realize this isn't a discarded SNL digital short, well...just the nasal, whiny "Ah'm throwin' on my Loobatons, Ah'm throwin' on mah Loobatons" over and freaking OVER. GOD. Good for you, you put some shoes on before storming out in a grand, trampling exit. Now stay gone, you humpy hoor.

Supernatural superfans at work

2009-11-05T12:17:00.000-08:00

At left: Plastic Winchester Theatre! I love the caption: *fight is on* [Sam, naturally, is the one taken out early in the fight, as we all know he majorly sucks at hand-to-hand combat.]

Oh god, I am wiping tears from my eyes. Just discovered "Plastic!Winchester Theatre" a massive collection of hard/demented work a Supernatural superfan has done.

and totally unrelated to Plastic Winchesters, YouTubey goodness: "Supernatural - Do You Like Waffles?"

Hee. Oh, my sides hurt.

damn, October was fun

2009-11-03T18:22:00.000-08:00

at left: the bourbon rack at Memphis Blues BBQ. Wound up October with vampires [Let the Right One In @ VIFC], roadside food [aforementioned bbq joint] and classic rock [Paint It Black] = a very Supernatural night.

I've been too busy having a life to actually write about it. I'd like to feel bad enough about it for a longer entry, but I don't. Let's just say that EVERY month should include two weeks holiday, your birthday and Halloween. And a three-paycheque month. And a huge-ass iMac!
Coming: reviews of the 20+ films seen in October, mostly festival fare. Woo.

-edited because I cannot spell today.

VIFF 2009 "Subtitles"

2009-10-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

One of the funnier trailers running at this year's VIFF.

And so true. "Maybe." Hee.

make a wish...

2009-09-21T18:27:00.001-07:00

At left: dream a little dream.

An evening walk on Saturday went from a milk run, to cream + brussels sprouts + of course, a digital camera. My own fucking fault for shopping on an empty stomach. When asked what my first picture would be [never owned a digital camera before], I was utterly stumped. I mean, ideally it would be a candid photo of Daniel Craig in my bed with a massive peen tenting the sheets, but whatever.

Walking home the long[ish] way round brought us to the part of the street completely duded up in full-on Halloween mode, thanks to another film crew. We stopped and watched a few takes, and then all of a sudden, all the film crew standing about looking Very Busy and Important suddenly looked up, waaay up, and even busted out digital cameras to film a very bright white light going very fast directly over us that turned out to be the International Space Station.

Oooh, pretty.

Then they quit fucking about and got back to work.

Here's a link to a cbc.ca story about a 400-strong group of University of Calgary students who used LED lights to flash the word dream in Morse code at the station as it flew by carrying UCalgary alum and Canadian astronaut Robert Thirsk. Then, they spelled it out in letters and finally created the shape of an eye that winked. Check it out on tonight's Daily Planet on the Discovery channel! The students plan to post their own clip on youtube and the univeristy website, so I'll update with the link to the no-doubt amazing video.

Okay, here 'tis: http://www.ucalgary.ca/news/utoday/september21-09/liftup

Awww.

Speaking of the Discovery Channel, here's a link to "The World Is Just Awesome" commercial [you know, the "boom-de-atta, boom-de-atta" one?].

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5BxymuiAxQ

lamest girl in blogland breaks radio silence

2009-09-01T18:21:00.000-07:00

At left:

"What's a Winchester sandwich?"

Hey, y'all. I'm still here, and normally Tuesdays are a TV wasteland so I can siddown and update, but: Supernatural season 4 comes out on DVD today, so there will be something on TV tonight. Oh my yes.

Oh, and the day you say, It's OK, I don't hafta wash my hair tonight, I'll just ponytail the ganky mass back and get one more day out of it? THAT will be the day the Supernatural crew comes to your 'hood to film. Trust me on this.

Happy Canada Day! :::chugchugchug:::

2009-07-01T17:46:00.000-07:00

This ten-year-old Molson commercial always made me laugh, and sums up a LOT about being Canadian: "...the beaver IS a proud and noble animal!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQAKECNrqMQ

Kanye West, self-proclaimed "proud non-reader" and douche

2009-06-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph."

I have just one question for a man in his thirties who is proud that he doesn't read books [yet has produced a 52-page spiral bound book he would like you to buy and read yourself, saying his non-readerness gave him "a childlike purity"], who blogs in ALL MOTHERHUMPING CAPS, who will leg-hump anything covered in fur or gold-plated - aaand that question is not: Kanye? Kanye stop being such an asshole for five minutes? but:

Bitch, do you know who the fuck this is?

Of course you don't.

UK emergency rooms brace for an onslaught of freezer-burned vaginas

2009-06-01T19:39:00.000-07:00

According to Del Monte's spokewhores, "The limited edition Daniel Craig lollies are available in blueberry, pomegranate and cranberry, and contain less than 100 calories each.
They will be available during the first National Ice Cream Week which runs from today until June 7."

Until June effing 7th? Fuck that shit, it is ALWAYS Ice Cream Week chez Juno.

And see how I made it to the end of the post without making a "suck on Daniel Craig" joke? My mom would be so proud.

Oh. My. God. :::thud:::

2009-06-01T18:57:00.000-07:00

File this under I Knew My Nipples Were Hard For A Reason: Hugh Freaking Jackman and Daniel Effing Craig are going to be on the same Broadway stage this fall in A Steady Rain, or maybe it's that dude Rain from Speed Racer, or maybe even Purple fucking Rain for all I care - all I know is it's got my naughty bits aflutter. I am already looking into selling a kidney on eBay to finance this trip. Seriously, I already have time booked off in September/October, in anticipation of the Vancouver Film Festival, but seriously? Fuck the festival.

edited to add: I had two separate pics of Craig and Jackman, which shoved the text from hell to breakfast; I just couldn't bring myself to use the Photoshopped pic Google found for me of both guys side by side, waist-deep in the sea. I mean, once you start Photoshopping guys together, it's only a matter of time before you go over the edge and start including yourself in said pictures. That way lies madness, and lonely evenings at home playing "pretend wedding" with your cats. Just ask Jennifer Aniston.

now there's something you don't see every day...

2009-05-20T18:39:00.001-07:00

Unless you're me, and buy your weed from the Compassion Club, that is. [Plus, :::shrug::: Vancouver.]Want to blow your mind even more? Call 'em, press "2" for the daily menu, and listen to what 7 - 10 different strains of cannabis, plus extracts, infused oils, cannabis butter, tinctures, hash and edibles are available. Speaking as someone who smokes and votes, I'm looking forward to the day when this won't blow anyone's mind.

Wolverine's CANADIAN - fuck yeah! [eh?]

2009-05-20T18:24:00.000-07:00

Jackman to self: "Yes, I am a sexy beast."

On behalf of all the estrogen in the theatre last night? Squee! Welcome to Juno's harem, Hugh. Now pull up a chair and get to work massaging my feet, you magnificent bastard.

blog nuts

2009-05-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

OK, quick rundown:

I have a bathroom ceiling, yippee! This means that when the pipes burst again next spring [as is their wont], I'll be dealing with NON-asbestosy material all over my apartment. Which I guess is a good thing. Sort of.

Ma soeur TJ and I went halves on some patio furniture for mom, and mom & I even got it mostly assembled before TJ returned with dinner. Unfortunately, dinner was from the only non-sucky Japanese restaurant for miles, which packaged every single item it could into its own separate styrofoam container. I mean, I'm not advocating gyoza swimming in sunomono, but the rice? Can easily go in the same container as the teriyaki beast. Whatever, I'm going to have to buy some carbon credits or make a huge guilt donation to Greenpeace, or the Green Party, or really anything with the word "green" in it to offset my guilt. I'm sorry, planet. We won't order from there again.

Between the ongoing repair in the bathroom [seriously, it was a month from start to finish at least] and drama with a noisy new neighbour, I frigging NEED my stupid toothbrush that plays Destiny's Child's "Survivor" for 2 minutes while I brush and psych myself up for the day. Sometimes you just need to start off [and wind up] your day with the ultimate breakup song. Hence the blog nuts.

Happy 420, Vancouver

2009-04-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a contact high just from looking at all that smoke. *cough*

Did I mention I freakin' love Vancouver? And do you think this shit would fly in the states? Hell to the hell to the HELL to the NO.

I see your squee and raise you a squee

2009-04-10T19:36:00.000-07:00

Long story short: I have NO bathroom ceiling, the properly HAZMAT-ed guys showed up to do the job, and the right picture of Daniel Craig can make me forget all about my lungs crudding up into big lumps of scar tissue forty years down the road..

"Impending death! Dooooom!"

"But look, he's so cute he's even changed my mind about my "no facial hair" rule. Squee!"

"But, doooom!"

"Squee!"

"You win."

Just hold me, dude.

2009-03-31T18:28:00.000-07:00

My dream UNsexy "comfort" three-way is me, Obama, and The Rock. I mean, if The Rock told you everything was going to be OK, you'd believe him, wouldn't you?
Fuck. I may have to go see that Witch Mountain movie just so I can stop gnawing my [no doubt asbestos-covered] nails and just freaking unclench.

Oh motherfucker. Everybody hit the deck, this NOT a fucking drill.

2009-03-31T18:07:00.000-07:00

I 've spent the last week freaking out over the possibility that my [old-ish] apartment has asbestos drywall, which wouldn't be something to spazz about if there hadn't been some leaky pipes, with subsequent ginormous holes cut in my bathroom ceiling - for the second time in less than a year. And the people doing all the cutting? Are NOT dressed up in HAZMAT gear like they ought to, like I give a fuck about them, because this my goddam home we are talking about and they are tracking drywall shit all over my apartment. All over. Building management is way too laid-back about this, and the managers [read: custodian/rent collector] is amazingly unprofessional and just a dash of high-school bitchy; when told that I can see into an adjoining suite from my shower, and they can see me, Anonymous Fuckface Bitch's response? "Oh, nobody wants to look at YOU." Suck my dick, I thought, but lacked the balls to say.
I've spent the last day freaking out because it's confirmed, it IS asbestos drywall, and this is one post where I can't be funny or snarky or happy here.

that's the kind of sugar mama likes

2009-03-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

At left: Daniel Craig wearing lots of clothes and smiling! Oh, and only one more sleep until Quantum of Solace on DVD! Squee, indeed.

heh heh heh

2009-03-20T18:18:00.000-07:00

It's been over two months since I posted a picture of Daniel Craig shirtless - I know - what the HELL? Where are my priorities?

Above: can you believe this bit keeps on getting cut from the TV broadcasts of Tomb Raider? I repeat: The. Hell? Not something you see every day...well, unless you're me. And have a shrine to the demigod of studliness at your desk.

It's spring! About frigging time.

2009-03-20T18:09:00.000-07:00

It's official; it's spring. Just thought I'd share that with y'all.

Sure signs: cherry blossoms [GVRD has 36,000 cherry trees just waiting to go "kaboom!" in a pink explosion], increased filming locally [not just current locally shot series - hel-lo, Supernatural and Smallville, but also pilots being filmed for - they hope - fall '09 debuts] and oh yeah, totally fucked up weather. Snow in the morning, sunny sidewalk cafe weather in the afternoon. Sheesh.

Who's sexier: Silhouette or Night Owl?

2009-03-13T18:15:00.000-07:00

OK, I've included some spoilers, but they're in black text, so just highlight the blank spots in the paras below to read them, refrain from highlighting for blissful ignorance.

First off, DO NOT take kids to see Watchmen. It has an R rating for a reason. Secondly, don't let reviewer's rumblings of how misogynist and violent to women the film is keep you from seeing it; it kind of is, but the violence gets equally spread around to men, women, kids, animals...I was a bit apprehensive because from what little I had read before seeing the movie it looked like more Sin City-esque 'tude; namely, that if you dress up misogynist pigfuckery and women as victims and only as victims ["Oh save me, I'm just a woman!"] in stylish art direction and call it noir, it's somehow OK. The only bad taste the movie left in my mouth was the Comedian's resemblance to Robert Downey, Jr. - I will forever get a twinge of "ew" when I look at RDJ and see the archetypal sleazy, nasty uncle. The one who's really your dad. Say it with me: Ew.

We arrived at the theatre a few minutes into the film, but before the main titles, and before the expository flashback [and can I just say, Silhouette is one sexy bitch, especially in the scene where she sweeps the nurse off her feet and just plants one on her. Whew. Never mind what woman I would go gay for, I think I have gone gay for Silhouette, played by gorgeous Vancouver artiste Apollonia Vanova.] Also, when Dr. Manhattan isn't wearing his Posing Pouch of Justice, he is noticeably swingin' some serious pipe. The only other thing I'm gonna say is that the wrong pair of glasses can dork a guy up beyond redemption - Night Owl is pretty darn lickable when he takes off those horrid seventies-style aviator specs, as the Silk Spectre finds when the two finally get together in a very sexy and very sweet scene. And hot. Did I mention hot?

If you're keeping an eye out for Vancouver landmarks, forget it; nothing to indicate the movie was filmed in Vancouver except the inevitable appearance by CTV's Mi-Jung Lee as an anchorwoman. I don't think that really counts as a spoiler. Oh, and Baber from Little Mosque on the Prairie has a small scene! And what Dr. Manhattan has to say about miracles at the very end is really quite moving, but that could have been the pre-film hoot talking ["for to enhance viewing of moviefilm"].

So, to recap: the movie is awesome, don't take the kids, go to the bathroom before the film starts, and bring your own snacks [it bears repeating: y'mama's got to hold on to her money, and I advise y'all to do the same].

better than ice cream

2009-03-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

Let the Right One In is out on DVD, today! No more sleeps! God, I am such a big nerdy fangirl. Stay tuned for the inevitable gushing review, and the long-awaited smackdown between [REC] and Quarantine. But for now, I'm about to scarper off to the Buy More as it's ten bucks cheaper than it would be at Happy Bats. Sorry Bats, but y'mama's got to hold onto her money.

Spike & MIke's Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation...blows. BIG time.

2009-03-07T18:19:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks ago, Miss M and I checked out Spike & Mike's Blah Blah Blah at The Rio on Broadway and Commercial. Miss M had been in years past; me, never. It should have been a fun evening: start off with the best pizza in East Van at Uncle Fatih's across from the theatre, and then bring on the sick & twisted cartoons.

Except....it wasn't. The cartoons appeared to be pretty much tired, the bottom of the barrel. It's not that I'm shocked or grossed out, just really disappointed, and you could feel the crowd's collective vibe of "meh". OK, there were some standouts, but in a hour-plus long show, they shouldn't have been so few and far between. A lot of them were around ten years old, or student portfolio pieces, and if you can't be technically amazing, at least be funny. Not asking for the world here.

The standouts were:

Fantaisie in Bubblewrap:

http://www.metcalflovesyou.com/Metcalf%20Loves%20You/Fantaisie%20in%20Bubblewrap.html

The Furious Little Cinnamon Bun: an angry little pastry totally loses its shit and incurs the wrath of the Great Dick In The Sky. Actually, anything at http://www.lonesausage.com/ is pretty good.

http://www.mondominishows.com/index.php?IdEpisode=552&episodesPage=0&series=28

Washington: who knew George Washington was so badass?

http://stickam.com/viewMedia.do?mId=173792142

I mean, DAMN. I have never known cartoons to suck the fun out of an evening, but Spike & Mike sure did.

Valentine's day PSA: It's Not Too Late To Pull This Out Of The Fire

2009-02-12T17:38:00.000-08:00

First off, if you’re getting started now, you, my friend, are screwed. Forget about booking a table; every restaurant that isn’t the Pantry or ABC Country Restaurants was booked weeks ago, champagne is expensive and as hard to find now as it is New Year’s Eve, a dozen roses are hellaciously expensive….you get the drift.

Be original, and look like you spent a million bucks, I mean, like you really care.
First stop, Pyrrha. Or more accurately, Blue Ruby for Pyrrha.
Be forewarned: giving a woman a pendant could signify more than you intended, so the cowardly will want to opt for bracelets or earrings.
Pyrrha is a Vancouver company who make unique, lovely, inexpensive sterling, bronze and even 14k gold seal necklaces – they’re castings of authentic 19th-century wax seals. There are tons to choose from, from simple initials, to heraldry and crests, and lots with love and fidelity themes. Mine is a bronze casting about 1.5” x 1” of a rosebush, and the millimeter-high inscription reads “thy sweetness is my life”. [Because even I could be a little fucking sweeter.] Except for the 14k pieces, prices hover around $100 - $130, and that is getting off cheap for the lover’s holiday. Even more romantic? Go down to the shop together and pick them out together.
http://www.pyrrha.com/
http://www.blueruby.com/

OK, on to the quaffables. Why, oh why, are you not drinking ice wine right this very minute? Yeah, a teensy bottle will set you back around $50 but so will the good bubbly stuff, and if you haven’t noticed, the theme is local V-day goodies here. Plus, you can get away with serving it in chilled shot glasses instead of regular wineglasses, therefore stretching things a bit. Your local off-license will have ice wine, and so will even your local liquor store [to my American friends: yes, we have government-run liquor stores up here. Believe it!].

You don’t really expect me to list the stores that sell this shit, do you?

Dinner’s ready! Why even try to impress him/her with a restaurant meal when you can whomp up a romantic meal right in your own home, mere steps away from the bedroom. If you honestly can’t cook, some Indian take-away bubbling on the stove looks pretty damn convincing; greet your sweetie at the door with a spoonful of vindaloo or butter chicken, and plant one on them to forestall the inevitable questions about when you learned to make pakkoras.

OK, gifts. :::sigh::: Guys, a bear holding a plush heart says only, "I left this to the last minute." Hit Lush, the bath bomb store, for a Tisty Tosty aka the rose-scented heart-shaped bomb with 7 rosebuds embedded in it. They have locations around the city, most notably in Metrotown and on Robson, full of imaginative, indulgent bath and skin products made by hand with organic ingredients. At the very least, pick up a melty massage bar made with chocolate and honey for a mere eight bucks. If you cost out all the sexy time you’ll have by the time the bar’s melted away, it looks like an even better deal – and anybody who’s ever spilled massage oil on good sheets or the floor will appreciate the solid-but-melty format.
http://www.lush.ca/

Upgrade from Pot of Gold to Purdy’s; Purdy’s makes the country’s best chocolate, and even the No Sugar Added chocs don’t have the problematic texture issue other NSA chocs do; trust me, there is creaminess aplenty in the assorted box, and this year they have the most adorable sugar-free cupid! Sorry, I just get all squee-y when good diabetic sweets come my way.

Well, that’s it. Guys, I can’t help you with the fact that a dozen roses has shot to $50.00 a dozen from $24.99 for this one day; red roses are kind of traditional, so if you really want to get lucky, you may have to pony up for the damn things. Just, for the love of God and eight-pound, six-ounce baby Jesus, DO NOT forget to take your socks off first. Ask any woman - a naked man with socks on is the ultimate mood killer.

Happy stuffing!

Hooray for boobies

2009-02-06T18:15:00.000-08:00

Salma Hayek just out-awesomed Angelina Jolie and replaced her as the woman I'd go gay for. Partly because Angelina is now so thin, she's crossed the line into "pretty face, but too skinny to fuck" territory, but mostly because on a recent trip to Sierra Leone, Salma encountered a baby whose mother had no milk, and what does she do? Busts out a chichi and feeds the child herself. Salma's boobies have healing powers! That's right, healing powers, people! Avert your gaze from her bodacious bits and make do with these juicy juicy tomatoes.

This post is one big pride float

2009-01-19T18:38:00.000-08:00

Nothing says "last day - EVER! - of Bush, first day of Obama" quite like Durex's balloon animal porndogs. Whee! They are dirty little bastards: they do the reverse cowgirl, they pull a train, they hit it from the back. Also, adding to the big ol' pride parade theme is the gayest tattoo ever, and when I say "gay" I don't mean "lame" or "it sucks", I mean GAY, so get off my ass, Wanda Sykes. Patrick Swayze as a Chippendale centaur with groovy wavy rainbows? So very very gay. Even without the rainbows. Suck on THAT, California.

I can't promise you'll get it by inauguration day

2009-01-16T19:01:00.000-08:00

...but, as the website points out, the shirt is still valid for four to eight years. The only reason I'm not sporting an "Obama on a Unicorn" tee right now is the fact that Chris Bishop doesn't get that fat babes love Obama, too. Buy buy buy at chrisbishop.com! But only if you can wedge your girly self into a size large. Fuck, fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

January 1st:: heeeurgghh!

2009-01-13T18:18:00.000-08:00

At left: yes, I know it's a fricking pumpkin. You do NOT want to see anything more lifelike than this. Trust me.
Even though I didn't have any alcohol New Year's Eve, by 4pm the next day, I found myself thinking, "You know, if you barf you'll just feel so much better." Which was a complete waste of a spicy prime rib breakfast hash with hollandaise sauce and a Limoncello lemonade....god, no fucking wonder.
And since you're wondering, yes, I did feel better. And now I know that Limoncello aka wonderfulness in a bottle, is not to be trifled with.

2008 definitely didn't suck

2009-01-13T17:34:00.000-08:00

Actually, it was pretty awesome. Wound up 2008 12/28 with an evening at the Orpheum, a posh gilt-edged, velvet-draped, 'thirties movie palace converted to a home for the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra doing Bugs Bunny On Broadway, an evening of classic cartoons with accompaniment from the VSO because not only did Chuck Jones et al use a lot of classical and opera in their work, they also had original scores. It was quite simply awesome. I know I've used the phrase "toe-curling delight" a lot on this blog, but this just out-squee-ed them all. The audience was about 99% adults, some small kids [who this was obviously a big night out for, and were *amazingly* well-behaved]. So, the VSO played with a 15' x 15' screen right above them with all the great musical cartoons - "Kiww the wabbit! Kiww the wabbit!", Michigan J. Frog, the Rabbit of Seville - I'm so glad I didn't wear mascara because I laughed so hard I cried. And having the event at the Orpheum was doubly cool because this really was a theatre where back in the thirties to the sixties, you would have been able to see these cartoons, with a newsreel, an action serial and your movie. And with audience reaction, something really lacking from all those 6:00 am wakeups as a kid, trying to watch Merrie Melodies or Funorama quietly while fishing through the Honeycombs cereal box for whatever piece of crap toy was on offer at the time.

Other highlights from 2008? A couple standouts from September/October's film festival.
I'm really looking forward to the DVD release of Let The Right One In on March 10th/09; I find myself rereading the book to recapture the bits from the film I enjoyed so much, I'd honestly recommend you see the movie first, if there are any arty-type movie rental places near you that might carry festival fare.
The festival was so much fun; besides LTROI, I saw a dozen films, among them [REC] the Spanish original that Quarantine was based on [if you call a shot-for-shot remake "based on"] - [REC] appeared at the festival at the same time Quarantine was in theatres, and how could I turn down my only chance to see the original on the big screen?]. I cannot remember the last time I went to a scary movie and actually screamed - but my friend & upstairs neighbor Miss M assures me I was, in fact, screaming. Gaah! Zombie outbreak in an apartment building, with joggly Blair Witch-style camerawork, and these are not your slow-moving, bumping-up against-the wall, "Braaaaaaainnss..." zombies, no. They are frisky, and pissed off, and could probably outrun Ben Johnson. So of course "How zombie proof is your apartment?" has become the subject of much debate between me and my neighbours. It is agreed we need to make friends with the people in the penthouse suite pronto, because the elevator goes all the way up only with a special key, so it might not be a bad idea to show up with a bottle of wine NOW, just in case. However, the weird noises in [REC] *were* coming from the upstairs apartment [and thank you, Quarantine for ruining the final, night-vision shot of [REC] with your frigging trailer].

James Bonds [plural!] love fat chicks

2009-01-13T17:15:00.000-08:00

Damn, Pierce Brosnan's wife Keely has a top AND a bottom. I mean, it's kinda hard to compare when you're standing next to a man whose physique very closely resembles that of a string bean, but seriously, DAMN.
[See 07/25/08 post, Daniel Craig loves fat chicks]: it's a nice fantasy that James fucking Bond likes "something to grab onto".
Holy crap, I got my wish.
What next, it starts raining frappuccinos?

hell yes I'd hit it

2009-01-03T13:57:00.000-08:00

At left: Daniel, get your ass out of those fugly baggy shorts and into a Speedo PRONTO. And then flex a bit.
dlisted.com posed the question, "Would you hit it?", pointing out Craig is looking "a little jellyish in the chichi and belly areas." Absolutely I would hit that shit; I'd be on that perfectly formed ass like it was a Chinese buffet. The picture raises some interesting questions: is this just a snack food orgy, or a smallish entourage? Is there an official "holder of the chip bag", like an umbrella holder? And, more importantly, is there a job opening for a fluffer?
Considering Britain's penchant for deep-frying everything, I guess we should all be thankful it's just a bag of chips and not a bacon-wrapped deep-fried Mars bar.

I love the whole world [except for people who talk during the movie]

2008-12-24T17:57:00.000-08:00

Discovery's "The World Is Just Awesome" commercial has been filling me with toe-curling delight since I saw it this summer.
If you don't love this bit of video, then you're dead inside. I'm serious.
The Canadian Discovery Channel version is slightly different; where on the US version, the surfer sings, "I love the oceans", it's the guy from the Daily Planet singing "I love the planet!" and doing a not too bad job of it too.

Evidently your bum celebrates Christmas, too

2008-12-21T13:51:00.000-08:00

Above: Safeway's "festive ring cake" ["ring". Hee.]: this SO belongs on cakewrecks.com. I mean, did the people at Safeway look at this culinary-slash-medical anomaly and decide that the jaunty sprig of holly would make it look any less like a prolapsed anus? And what is the drizzle on there? Dear GOD.

In lieu of written entry, lamest girl in blogland posts gratuitous beefcake pic

2008-12-14T16:36:00.000-08:00

At left: Quantum of Solace could have used some more of this. [Since when do I need a reason to post a picture of Daniel Craig shirtless? You knew this would become a recurring feature sooner or later. Oh, and he still really digs fat chicks. Loves them loves them loves them.]

Snow day snow day snow day!

2008-12-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

At left: I know, I can't fucking believe it's snowing either.

Coalition to Harper: No, YOU shut up

2008-12-07T16:12:00.000-08:00

First off, even though I vote in every [major] election, I've never been really interested in politics, have always been content to let Canada tootle along, thankful for and secure in the knowledge that we weren't the United States and that a) abortion is legal, b)hooray for gay rights! and Canadians are friendly, polite and fucking HATE guns.
The things you take for granted.
My country is very close to hurtling headlong into a new dark age, and I can't help but think of the day[s] after 9/11, after that one weirdly quiet point when there was not a plane in the air, anywhere. Living then in the incoming flight path of a major airport, and so used to jetliners RIGHT OVERHEAD, loud and low. It was such a sweet relief when the planes were flying again to stand outside and just watch what could have been a very bright star grow larger, move closer and finally pass over me, over and over again. And again.
Last week, Conservative PM Stephen Harper [a fucking joke; his party represents 37.6% of the vote] tried to pass a motion that would have ENDED public funding for political parties, which would have effectively killed any party NOT the Conservative party, since the Conservatives have a more, ahem, "sophisticated" fundraising machine than the rest. I should add that every "strategic" or "defensive" vote I have ever cast has been aimed at keeping the Conservative candidate out of office, I hate them so. I'll say it: Conservatives are bad for Canada. Faced with a vote of non-confidence waiting for him on Monday, Harper sought [and got] Governor-General Michaelle Jean's permission to prorogue Parliament, a word I had never heard before, and which means "Canadian democracy getting buttfucked on national television" [uh, CPAC *is* national, right?].
What kind of tinpot dictatorship can shut down parliamentary debate, SHUT IT DOWN FOR WEEKS, when the leader decides not to face the consequences for their actions? What kind of asshole thinks the other parties were actually going to say, 'Golly, you're right, take away our funding'?
I managed to keep it together until I got home last night, and broke down the minute I got inside the door. Washing off my makeup and crying, all I could think was I do NOT accept this, this is not over, I do not accept this, this is not over. And rinse and repeat. I haven't needed to light up a spliff that badly since, um....ever?
I am scared, I am sad and I am angry, but most of all I know that THIS IS NOT OVER. Not by a long shot.

Tinseltown can suck it

2008-11-30T16:43:00.000-08:00

The Vancouver Film Festival has been over since mid-October, and I'm STILL geeking out about the best! film! ever! Let The Right One In. Went Thursday to Tinseltown [the only freaking place in town it's playing] to see it again, only to find it had been bumped from the theatre two days earlier to make room for Baz Lurhmann's Australia. Shut up, Australia. However, partly because I was there already, but mostly because I am Tinseltown's bitch, I forked over the bucks for Transporter 3 instead. Which had everything I'd been hoping for in Quantum of Solace: lotsa shirtless Jason Statham fighting [because he knows what side his bread is buttered on] and just generally hotting things up with all the scowling. Phwoar. Also a very sexy scene in which the transportee, a ginger party girl, blackmails Statham into doing a striptease. Where the fuck are the Bond girls with that kind of attitude?
Apparently Daniel Craig plans to NOT get hugely buff and show it off in upcoming Bond films. Y'know, if someone dangled the millions of dollars Craig is making as Bond in front of ME and said, look, all you have to do is lose the weight, get up a four a.m. to get in a frillion ab crunches and lift weights until you look like a no-neck football player, I would say HELL YES. Fortunately for y'all, I'm collaborating with Paul Haggis on the next 007 film and not to give too much away, but Bond has to go undercover as a cage dancer. A bare-chested, sweaty cage dancer. In faded ripped jeans, and maybe covered in sexy wounds too, and if I hear any lip about being a serious artist, those jeans will become ASSLESS leather chaps faster than you can bat those glacial blue peepers, DO YOU HEAR ME?

double-Oh HELL yeah

2008-11-15T16:41:00.000-08:00

At left: my toes may never uncurl. Sigh/squee.

Okay, I just want to say, up front, that I'm a big fan of the new Bond, deeply smitten with the man who plays him, love the new direction the character took in Casino Royale, love Paul Haggis long time and spent the last 2 years crossing off the days until the new film, but Quantum of Solace? Mostly left me wishing for more shirtless Craig [frickin' hello! he's shirtless in at least four separate scenes in Casino Royale that I can think of], and sure, there's plenty of fast-edit holyshithowdidtheydothat action, but to be honest, the movie left me wanting more. Way more. I'm not going to give anything away, but I would have liked the movie to go more into 007's betrayal and desire for revenge, and what that does to the soul, but instead got freaking continous fast-edit Bourne-style chase scenes that really started to look alike after awhile. That said, I still plan to see it multiple times and buy the DVD, because I am weak, dammit, weak, but dammit, it just doesn't grab me the way Casino Royale did. I expected better from Paul fucking Haggis et al, for God's sake. It's not crap, it just could have been better.

I'm off to console myself with some bare-assed nekkid Craig in Flashbacks of a Fool. Again. My GOD, that boy is hot.

something to sing about

2008-11-11T20:16:00.000-08:00

It's been a week since Obama's acceptance speech from Grant Park in Chicago, and I have to say it: congrats on not fucking up, America. The last time Americans had a leader who really was the best person for the job was last fucking millennium. Okay, I cried. It still surprises me how moved I was by the speech, and the moment. Wasn't it great? It felt like New Year's Eve, like you should be calling all your friends or leaning out of windows banging on pots and pans. The next day shone bright and sunny here, birds tweeting and strangers smiling at each other. All. Damn. Day. Long. Everybody's happy - can't you feel it?
It's amazing how very different the Democrat and Republican mindsets seem to be. Democrats seem all about Christmas, with programs! and diversity! and pizza for everybody!, while the Republicans are all about Halloween, with scary socialized medicine! and scary gun control! and scary gay rights! But regardless of all that, ditto on what Obama said about ending divisivness:
"I promise you, we as a people will get there. So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other."
As the Buffy cast sings in the incomparable musical episode, "What can't we face if we're together?"

re: election: dear America, please don't fuck this up again. Seriously, we're getting sick of your shit.

2008-11-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

rainy day fun

Presented without comment: Ain't it good to be alive

Supernatural on location, Season 7: Bring. It.

I'm a freaking cookie genius: Sugar-free pot-infused peanut butter chocolate bombs

Perfect day

'Supernatural' bucket list: Hilltop Cafe

lamest girl in blogland breaks radio silence, part deux

Sexual harassment campaign update

fa la la la la

Snow day snow day snow day!

and THAT was the moment I decided "Fuck the earth, I am driving EVERYWHERE from now on."

Octoberfest

Happy Halloween

Badder Homes & Gardens: Supernatural's Guide to Demon-Proofing Yer Humble Abode

A dark day for us all

Let me eat cake: sugar-free pot brownies

Supernatural on location. Again. Some more.

Supernatural on location: It's not stalking when THEY come to ME, right?

More Farmers Market Shi- uh, Stuff

RIP Ninja Video. NOW where the fuck am I supposed to watch 'Supernatural'?

Happy Canada Day

RCFM, again (hat trick!)

Royal City Farmers Market, part deux

RCFM: first farmers market of summer

Hyack Anvil Battery Salute (yes, really)

Why yes, as a matter of fact, this blog IS mostly fueled by bong rips in between Supernatural episodes. Why do you ask?

aw crap, seriously?

and a sexual harassment campaign is born

Happy 420. Now pass the damn chocolate.

do it for Science!

Supernatural on location, 3/17

has anyone seen a hockey cherry? because I lost mine

magnolias

Happy birthday, Sarah

More to love about Canada: pot cafes

Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin spoof 'Paranormal Activity'

Reason # 452 to Love Canada [some more]: Socialized Medicine

It was time for a Daniel Craig pic anyway...

I want sprinkles on mine

rainydayfun.ca

Worlds Collide: Valentine's/Olympics/Chinese New Year

2/09: Olympic torch relay

I'm holding out for chicken and waffles. Because I'm classy like that.

sheer unadulterated WTF

just who do I hafta bang at Tourism BC to get some Super, Natural swag?

WANT vs. DO NOT WANT

Big 6 diner: ur doin' it rite

Colin James @ the Orpheum, 1/13/10

WIN. WIN. And more WIN.

glorious basterds

"But Holmes!" Watson ejaculated [hee]

have yourself a merry fucking Christmas

fancypants caramel

I got yer "festive" right here

and the funny just keeps on coming

random hotness

look what the mail barfed up

I love the smell of cinnamon in the morning. Smells like "coping".

Officially unemployed for 14 hours now. Have been playing "I Will Survive" on YouTube for 8 of those hours.

Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

Worst. Song. Ever: JLo's "Louboutins"

Supernatural superfans at work

damn, October was fun

VIFF 2009 "Subtitles"

make a wish...

lamest girl in blogland breaks radio silence

Happy Canada Day! :::chugchugchug:::

Kanye West, self-proclaimed "proud non-reader" and douche

UK emergency rooms brace for an onslaught of freezer-burned vaginas

Oh. My. God. :::thud:::

now *there's* something you don't see every day...

Wolverine's CANADIAN - fuck yeah! [eh?]

blog nuts

Happy 420, Vancouver

I see your squee and raise you a squee

Just hold me, dude.

Oh motherfucker. Everybody hit the deck, this NOT a fucking drill.

that's the kind of sugar mama likes

heh heh heh

It's spring! About frigging time.

now there's something you don't see every day...